1.7 (E) Exercise: Accepting; Ourselves, Others, and Challenging Situations
Exercise to Help Accept Ourselves / Others / Situations:
(Accepting Ourselves)
Take a moment to close your eyes, and think about how you would characterize yourself. In a few short words, jot down, or think out loud this description. Now, think about how you are feeling emotionally as you are saying these words, or writing them down. Then think about how you are feeling physically as well. How does the emotional response trigger a physical response in you? (Are you embarrassed, happy, angry, sad, does your stomach turn, does your heart rate increase?)
What did you come up with? Did you find you were being critical by thinking things like: “I’m too fat”, “I’m too skinny”, “I hate my hair”, “I’m too short”, etc. Or did you find yourself being factual and staying positive, saying things like: “I’m a hard worker”, “I have brown hair”, etc.
Exercises like this is nothing more than a way of getting you to recognize how you look at yourself, and how your own words make you feel emotionally, and physically when you say them.
So, now, jot down or think about, five things you REALLY like about yourself. Notice how easy or difficult this comes to you. (We will come back to this type of exercise many times during this program.) This is all about gaining awareness of your ideas, and conceptions, and possibly misconceptions of yourself. Do kind words of yourself come easy? Or are they difficult? There are no right or wrong answers here, as you are just gaining a deeper understanding of how your mind thinks.
(Accepting Others)
Think about the one person that bothers you the most.
Next, think about what it is about that person, that makes you feel that way. (ex. The person is mean to me, the person gets everything he/she wants, the person won’t admit any wrongdoing, etc.)
Now notice how you are feeling, physically and emotionally, while thinking about this person. (does your stomach turn, do you shake, are you angry, are you frustrated, has your breathing changed, heart rate changed, etc.)
Now ask yourself… are these physical and emotional stresses worth it? Close your eyes for a moment, and really think about this. Is it worth getting that emotionally hung up on? Is it worth the discomfort you may be feeling? Remember, that it’s ok to have emotional responses. It’s who we are as humans. It’s when we dwell so much on them, that our daily lives become affected by it all, it can be harmful to our well being. So, just by becoming aware, we are learning about our own behaviors, which, over time, can help us adjust our reactions. Maybe it’s time to think about accepting that person for who they are. This doesn’t mean you have to like the person. Just start to accept that this is how they are, and there is nothing you can do to change that person. Just as there is nothing you can do to change any situations surrounding that person either. Maybe it’s time to work on either accepting, or choosing to let go of that person completely.
(Accepting Situations)
Think about a current situation that bothers you the most. (Someone you care about is sick, you do not have a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc.)
Close your eyes and think about this situation for a moment, and notice how it makes you feel, both physically and emotionally. (are you sad, angry, depressed, is your body tired, do you feel weak, etc.)
Now ask yourself: is this situation, of which you DO NOT have ANY control over, worth the wellbeing of your own body?
(Explanation)
Now with all three of these exercises, and as I stated earlier, please note that it is normal to feel emotions, like sadness and anger, especially when someone you care about is sick, or when someone is very mean to you. But, it is NOT ok to let these emotions run so deep that they keep you from functioning your day to day activities.
Going back to the George Orwell quote, “Happiness can only exist in acceptance”, we can’t be truly happy when we are constantly fighting something. We can choose to let go, or we can choose to let this “something” eat us up. This is the choice that we must ultimately make, and therefore, live with.
(Accepting Ourselves)
Take a moment to close your eyes, and think about how you would characterize yourself. In a few short words, jot down, or think out loud this description. Now, think about how you are feeling emotionally as you are saying these words, or writing them down. Then think about how you are feeling physically as well. How does the emotional response trigger a physical response in you? (Are you embarrassed, happy, angry, sad, does your stomach turn, does your heart rate increase?)
What did you come up with? Did you find you were being critical by thinking things like: “I’m too fat”, “I’m too skinny”, “I hate my hair”, “I’m too short”, etc. Or did you find yourself being factual and staying positive, saying things like: “I’m a hard worker”, “I have brown hair”, etc.
Exercises like this is nothing more than a way of getting you to recognize how you look at yourself, and how your own words make you feel emotionally, and physically when you say them.
So, now, jot down or think about, five things you REALLY like about yourself. Notice how easy or difficult this comes to you. (We will come back to this type of exercise many times during this program.) This is all about gaining awareness of your ideas, and conceptions, and possibly misconceptions of yourself. Do kind words of yourself come easy? Or are they difficult? There are no right or wrong answers here, as you are just gaining a deeper understanding of how your mind thinks.
(Accepting Others)
Think about the one person that bothers you the most.
Next, think about what it is about that person, that makes you feel that way. (ex. The person is mean to me, the person gets everything he/she wants, the person won’t admit any wrongdoing, etc.)
Now notice how you are feeling, physically and emotionally, while thinking about this person. (does your stomach turn, do you shake, are you angry, are you frustrated, has your breathing changed, heart rate changed, etc.)
Now ask yourself… are these physical and emotional stresses worth it? Close your eyes for a moment, and really think about this. Is it worth getting that emotionally hung up on? Is it worth the discomfort you may be feeling? Remember, that it’s ok to have emotional responses. It’s who we are as humans. It’s when we dwell so much on them, that our daily lives become affected by it all, it can be harmful to our well being. So, just by becoming aware, we are learning about our own behaviors, which, over time, can help us adjust our reactions. Maybe it’s time to think about accepting that person for who they are. This doesn’t mean you have to like the person. Just start to accept that this is how they are, and there is nothing you can do to change that person. Just as there is nothing you can do to change any situations surrounding that person either. Maybe it’s time to work on either accepting, or choosing to let go of that person completely.
(Accepting Situations)
Think about a current situation that bothers you the most. (Someone you care about is sick, you do not have a girlfriend/boyfriend, etc.)
Close your eyes and think about this situation for a moment, and notice how it makes you feel, both physically and emotionally. (are you sad, angry, depressed, is your body tired, do you feel weak, etc.)
Now ask yourself: is this situation, of which you DO NOT have ANY control over, worth the wellbeing of your own body?
(Explanation)
Now with all three of these exercises, and as I stated earlier, please note that it is normal to feel emotions, like sadness and anger, especially when someone you care about is sick, or when someone is very mean to you. But, it is NOT ok to let these emotions run so deep that they keep you from functioning your day to day activities.
Going back to the George Orwell quote, “Happiness can only exist in acceptance”, we can’t be truly happy when we are constantly fighting something. We can choose to let go, or we can choose to let this “something” eat us up. This is the choice that we must ultimately make, and therefore, live with.