I love this Christmas-y time of year! It’s a time for Christmas decorations, Christmas music, and social gatherings! Each year, I look forward to it all, as I break into our Christmas bins with all the decorations waiting to be placed around the house. It all starts with me putting on Christmas music while organizing everything, which is soothing to my soul. I’m always sure to give myself a week to get everything up, so I don’t ever rush, and allow the creativity to soar. Always skeptical that all the lights will work after sitting for a year, I take my time to go thru them. Along with the lights, I also have an electronic set of Christmas bells that I string along the garland on the stairwell each year. As I open the box each year, I grit my teeth in the hopes they will continue to play for me. Those bells have been around for over 15 years at this point, and have survived so many Christmases, that each year I’m grateful they will play another year. As I continue thru the bins, I always come across a lighted Angel that was used for years as the tree topper when I was a kid. She doesn’t work at this point, (and if she did, she would probably be a fire hazard), but it’s nice to take a moment to remember her as she was. She has become a token of Christmases of the past for me, and it’s nice to just take that moment as a reflection…and then move on. Once all the house decorations are up, it becomes time to search for our tree. I try to find the one that will fit just perfectly in the spot near the window, and I won’t stop looking till I find it. And if, by chance, it doesn’t fit as I’d like, or it isn’t shaped as nice, I grab my limb trimmers and MAKE it fit, and shape it till it’s as good as it can get. Getting ready for the holidays has always been a tradition that turns into a time of reflection for me. Not only are the decorations a tradition, but also the music. When I turn on the Christmas music, I allow it to consume me. Whether it’s the music we hear on the radio or the beautiful music of the Advent season, I wait all year to hear the tunes, and then I can’t seem get enough of it. Even though its a busy time of year, it's a glorious time of year. And as perfect as the above sounds, you need to be aware that I HAVE CHOSEN to create this for myself. I choose to let the music move me. I choose to let decorating be a relaxing, beautiful moment for me. I choose to enjoy this time of year. For many, the Christmas season isn't so joyous, and can bring about sadness and even depression. Many times this is brought on by the loss of a friend or family member during this time. I myself, lost my grandmother around the holiday time. Yes, it was a sad time, but I have always thought to myself that she wouldn’t have wanted us to sulk over her during the holidays. She would have wanted us to CELEBRATE the holidays! It was unfortunate how her death took a toll on some, and when it did, I took in those feelings, and allowed them to all sink in. I saw and felt the sadness, as well as the depression from others. And even as sad and depressed as I was, I was just as determined to NOT let it ruin such a joyous season. I chose a different path. I chose to keep my head up high and to be grateful. And now, I choose to be happy for the times she was in my life, and to keep the Christmas spirit alive in me. Like everything else, we have choices. I choose to celebrate her life, and to take in happiness, instead of feeling the emptiness. She loved Christmas, and I choose to carry on that tradition of bringing joy and love and hope and trust and faith to my family. I choose to smile and take my time as I put all the decorations up around the house. I make it a fun event, a joyous event, and never a forced event. I choose to be happy. I choose to love the skin I'm in, and I choose to celebrate life during a time that can be so difficult. Taking a positive from a negative, and looking at the world from a different angle, is all it really is, and makes SUCH a difference! So whatever world you're coming from, just allow yourself to be grateful for what you have, appreciative of the people in your life, and happy that you have those around you. It takes time to train your mind to gear towards happiness. So, don’t assume it will happen overnight. Like everything else, it’s a process that takes time to learn and develop. For me, it started with just a smile. A smile that allowed me to start the process I needed to take. With a smile, you can bring in a feeling of contentment and peace. When you feel that peace, it can snowball into feeling grateful. Feeling grateful can then bring on the love of self and for others…and so on. It’s about allowing the process to build when it needs to AS it needs to. If you are having difficulty this holiday season, start with a smile, and smile as many times during the day as you can remember to do so. If you have to force the smile at first, then force the smile. Even a forced smile can reap the positive benefits. Keep adding smiles thru your day, then notice how you feel after a day, a week, then at two weeks. Notice the difference after a month. It's about changing the habit of saddness into a habit of happiness. There will be a point when the positive will start to outweigh the negative, and the joy and happiness will start to find its way thru. Be patient, and allow the gradual change to occur. When I started noticing people smiling at me at the grocery store, I realized that, in fact that I was the one who was smiling. It was that A-HA moment that further proved the power of positivity for me. It's amazing the power of the positive, and how you can make a difference in your own life... May you have peace, love and joy this holiday season.. XO
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With the holidays approaching fast, it is safe to say that stress and anxiety levels can easily rise during this time. Maybe it’s the long lines and cranky people you see at the stores, or meet if you have to travel. Maybe you are dreading to see that one family member that always seems to make it a point to ruin your holiday. Maybe the holidays trigger sad moments of lost family or friends? Or maybe its just simply that you don’t see yourself having enough time to get everything done. Whatever the concern, it always seems that the holidays create stress, agitation and anxiety for many. Here are some tips to help keep you ahead of it all: 1) Get organized NOW! Don’t wait until the last minute to get all your tasks done. Formulate the lists you need now, so you don’t find yourself scrambling at the worst time. If you are hosting a party, start to organize the meal, and if you think it may be too much, consider having a pot luck, so the burden doesn’t completely fall upon you. If you are organizing the party on your own, you may even ask for help. Find a responsible family member or friend to help you out. Find the ways to keep the experience upbeat and fun! Staying organized and positive, for me, is very soothing, and can certainly keep the stresses down, that can build up fairly quickly. You DON’T know what will happen that day, and why worry about something that may not happen at all! All bets may be off that day, but staying organized and relaxed beforehand, makes it easier to deal with any stresses that may come up. If you are in a better state before, you will be able to process issues as they come up much easier. 2) If you are dreading to see that “certain someone” in your family who always pushes your high stress button, just think that person may be feeling the same way about you! No family is perfect, so smile and be thankful that you don’t have THREE people you have to deal with. And if you do have three people you aren’t looking forward to seeing, then be happy that you don’t have SIX..and so on. My husband frequently tells me that it could always be worse, and that can’t be more true! Stay positive during this stressful time, since it can make a significant difference for your wellbeing. 3) Families change over the years…that it certain! In my family, we certainly do not have those huge family gatherings anymore. Have you ever heard your family harp on “how it used to be”, and how “its just not the same anymore”? The problem with continuing the harp on “how it was” will only make you miss what you could have today! Stop dwelling on the past and create your own NEW memories! Try to stay present! This past Thanksgiving, we decided to take a cruise instead of cooking at home, and it was an amazing experience! Think of different ideas that would be fun for you, especially, if you are alone. 4) If you can’t be with someone this holiday, remember that we live in a wonderful technological world! You can Skype or FaceTime the ones you love, with only a touch of a button. 5) If the season has got you down and feeling low, consider volunteering! It is not only a great way to feel important, but you can meet some wonderful people along the way. You can join a church organization, volunteer to help the needy, volunteer at your local humane society, or you could join a community play, or book club…for just a few examples. The point is to get out there and be involved with something! Feeling important and needed around the holidays keeps away the blues and warms our hearts. 6) Surround yourself with unconditional love. This means be sure to spend time with people who love you no matter what. This may be a best friend, spouce, or even a pet! When my kids were feeling low one day, I decided to take them to the humane society to play with the kittens there. Nothing is more gratifying than receiving a warm hug from a pet to lift the spirits! Their frowns instantly turned to joy. (Caution..may inspire adoption!) 7) Be sure to be getting plenty of sleep! If there is one thing that makes me cranky and irritable, its not getting enough sleep. Be aware that when stresses are high, your body may need to compensate and need even more sleep. 8) Be sure to stay hydrated. Anxiety and stresses can increase when you are running through your energy quicker and not keeping up with your required daily water intake. Be sure drink AT LEAST half of your body weight in ounces. 9) Give yourself time to relax. Even if you can only afford 5 minutes, TAKE IT! In that five minutes you can breathe, relax your shoulders, meditate, and do some easy stretching. These are all wonderful ways to reduce stress. Any time you have more than five minutes, you can read a book, go for a walk, practice some yoga, or CALL a friend, (don’t text). 10) If going out to the stores for gifts has you stressed, remember that you can always order gifts on line. This definitely alleviates the stresses of finding parking, dealing with long lines, listening to cranky people, and losing precious time. As I say ever so frequently, we have choices, and the choice is ours! We can choose to worry or choose to stay organized. We can choose to grieve over the past, or can choose to be happy for the upcoming holiday. We have the choice to let that “someone” get to us, or we can choose to let their actions go. We can allow the situations to build up, or we can breathe and relax as life gets stressful. Allow yourself to be happy this holiday season! Whether you are in a crowd of 30, or its just you, be thankful for everything and everyone you have in your life, wherever they may be. When you keep a positive mindset, you can change your attitude of “surviving the holidays” to “enjoying the holidays”. Peace and joy to you all this season…XO Dehydration Signs and Symptoms to look out for.... It may not be what you think.. Over the past couple of months, I was starting to experience an increase of anxiety, heart palpitations, (with excessive exercise), belly discomfort under the ribs with increased sensations in the area, dizziness, and increased joint aches. I had also noticed an increase of anxiety with other more severe PMS symptoms. It was the palpitations that was making me nervous, since my family has a history of heart related problems. So, of course, my mind decides I’m either dying or going thru menopause. It is amazing how the mind works, isn’t it? Being that I hadn’t had a physical in over 3 years, I figured it was time to just get myself checked out either way, just to be sure everything was ok. Piece of mind is everything, especially, if you are prone to anxiety. So, I went to see the doc. They took my blood work, and it seemed that my levels were pretty good. My cholesterol level showed me in “protection mode” where my HDL is high enough to keep the arteries clean, and LDL was low enough to be cleared of obvious issues, so my heart seemed to be in good shape, but it didn’t explain the palpitations I was having. My kidneys seemed to be in good order, although, my BUN and Creatinine levels indicated slight dehydration. I thought nothing of it, and the doc kind of dismissed it as well. Since my concern was the palpitations at high levels of exercise, she decided to send me to a heart specialist for a possible stress test to be sure that everything was ok. After telling her my family history with the heart, she indicated I should probably go sooner than later. I have to admit, my practice with mindfulness over the years has certainly paid off. If this happened five years ago, I would have been up all night worrying about it, or giving myself panic attacks in anticipation. But, instead, I went about my life focusing on what mattered at the moment, trying not to give it much thought. When you don’t have control over a situation, there is no reason to waste energy worrying about it. If a negative thought came to mind, I would just smile and be proud with what my bloodwork revealed, to change that negative to a positive, then went about my business. So off to the heart specialist I go, and after he does a short examination, he asks me about my exercise habits. After hearing my answer that I was a yoga instructor, he obviously didn’t seem too concerned about how I exercise, so he decided to look deeper into my blood work. He paused for a moment, and the next question that comes out of his mouth is, “How much water do you drink?” Confused about the question, since my concern was my heart, I just looked at him, and said, “I’m pretty sure I’m getting enough.” “Are you?” he asked. “I think so.” I said. “But how much is that?” he asked. “Exactly how many ounces are you drinking per day?” “Honestly,” I said, “I really haven’t been paying much attention to it lately. I guess its possible, since I’ve been pretty busy, that I’m not consuming the amount that I should.” Then I stopped myself as I’m realizing the following, “Hmmmm…hang on..with the weather starting to change, I guess I have been lessening my intake, and now that I’m thinking about it, being that its not as humid anymore, I really I haven’t been grabbing the water bottle as much lately. I also have increased the amount of tea I’ve been drinking at night to soothe my mind and body before bed.” “Caffeinated?” he asked. “Never!” I said. “I stay away from all caffeine products.” “What tea do you drink?” he asked. “Herbals, and mostly Peppermint, but will drink Chamomile, to calm my belly and to settle in my body at night.” I replied, and as I’m saying the words, it’s dawning on me the answer as I start to nod my head as he starts to speak. Without a blink of his eyes, he said, “You’re dehydrated.” I just looked at him. He said that even though it may appear that I’m getting enough fluid, the tea in itself is dehydrating. Add onto it the amount of exercise I do, increases the amount of need for additional water. He stated that in addition, Floridians and people who live in other sub-tropical or tropical locations need to overly increase their water intake to compensate for the different climate. After he said this, it dawned on me not only about the tea, but about what I’ve been eating as well. Foods can be dehydrating, especially if they have a diuretic component to them. If you’ve ever eaten garlicy food, (something that I have been consuming A LOT of lately), did you ever notice that you may get a “dry” feeling of the mouth a couple of hours after? This is an effect of garlic, so if you consume a lot of garlic, you should replenish the fluids lost with additional water. I think I looked at him dumbfounded at the simplicity of it all. I KNOW all this. I KNOW tea is dehydrating. (Especially, Chamomile, since it has a tendency to have one run to the bathroom.) I KNOW that when I exercise it increases the need to intake more fluid. I KNOW that living in Florida increases my need for additional fluids. I KNOW certain foods can have a diuretic affect. I KNOW all this. I’m a yoga instructor and certified nutritionist by gosh-darnit, and I tell people almost daily about the importance of getting enough water! So, still being skeptical about the variety of symptoms I’ve been having, I then asked, “So, which of my symptoms should go away after re-hydrating myself?” He simply smiled and said, “All of them!” It was at that moment in his office, I realized, I wasn’t following the advice that I give to my own students, and that I need to be more observant on how I’m taking care of me. I’m not perfect, by any means, and obviously, even when I THINK I am doing all I can to keep myself healthy, sometimes it’s the simplest things that can make the most difference! One of the most important things we can do as yoga teachers, or any other profession for that matter, is to be sure that we are taking care of ourselves first! Take a moment in our busy lives to stop and listen to our bodies. They speak to us…we just have to listen! How much water should I drink? Daily water intake should be half a person’s body weight in ounces. So, if you weigh 130 pounds, you should take in 65 ounces of water per day. And that means WATER, and not other liquids like soda, tea, coffee, or juices. And that is a baseline. There are 33.8 ounces in a liter. So for me, weighing in about 134lbs, I need to drink 2 liters of water a day, just as a baseline alone. If I exercise, I would have to increase the amount of water on top of that. If I drink tea, or lay out in the sun, add even more. The best case for me is to drink between 2.5-3.5 liters of water per day depending on my activity level. Now if you are a caffeine drinker, and I don’t personally drink caffeinated products, but if you do, plan on increasing that need even further. For every one cup (or 8 ounces) of coffee, you will need to drink an additional 8 ounces of water to compensate for the diuretic affects of the caffeine. Other things to consider increasing your water intake for: -Massages: When working the muscles of the body, you release energy which then requires you to replenish the body with water. The deeper the massage, the more water you should drink to replenish. -Vibrational or energy work: Any type of energy work like cranial / sacral, Reiki, or listening to the vibrational sounds of crystal and Tibetan bowls can have an affect on the fluid levels of the body, since, in a way, its like doing a form of exercise, as well as a form of release. Energy with Reiki, allows for heat, and vibrational movement with sounds allows for subtle movement in the body, which increases the need for water. -Foods that are diuretic in nature, (ex. asparagus, lemons, apple cider vinegar, Chamomile tea), can allow you to excrete more water from the body, which increases the need for more water. -PMS: Hormones like estrogen and progesterone fluctuate during PMS, which can then influence how your body reacts to hydration. Increased anxiety during this time, can be a good indicator that you may need to increase your water intake. -Stress: This is more obvious one, since the more stressed we are, the more energy is released from the body, causing us to have a need for more water intake. When we don’t drink enough fluids, our body will tell us by increasing anxiety levels in the body. -Alcohol: Hydration is a must when consuming alcohol. For every one drink, one should have a glass of water of equal amount to level out hydration levels. -Salt: Processed foods (which I do not recommend eating), can contain an abundance of sodium, which can aide in dehydration. Restaurants have a tendency to add more salt to foods for the additional flavors. Just be sure to replenish your body after consuming additional salty foods. Symptoms of dehydration: Typically, first and foremost, take the time to listen to your body. Check your urine output and that its nice and clear. (Something I neglected to stay on top of.) Notice any symptoms such as:
So, it has been three weeks since I’ve “re-hydrated” myself and I have to say the effects have been amazing. Most, if not all of my symptoms have subsided. Keep smiling, keep positive, let the little things go, and STAY HYDRATED! Love and peace.. So on my morning walk, I watched a little boy, around 4 yrs old, riding his bike with his mom and dad. Well, unfortunately, he wasn't looking where he was going and he ran straight into a garbage can and fell over. As I watched this unfold, I immediately expected a scream and a child full of tears. But did he cry? No. Did he look to his mom for help or support? No. He just got himself right back up, and looked at his mom and said "I'm OK mom" and started laughing, as if to say, "That was fun". I watched him brush off his legs, and then take to the bike again, with mom continuously asking if he was ok. Without question, he started peddling, and took off on his parents again, and as I watched all this, I smiled. When he rode by me, I said," What a trooper!", as he looked at me like I had six heads. It seems this young boy didn't allow himself to think that falling was a bad thing. And falling can be a good thing.. especially, when we can pick ourselves up and learn from it. We have choices. We can get back on that "bike of life" with a smile on our face, or we can sit there on the ground and wallow in our own self pity. We can allow a fall in life to to hurt us... or help us. This weekend, pick yourself up, Brush yourself off, and take off on your own "bike of life". Face the world with new eyes, or maybe a new or different perspective.. Have a wonderful day.. XO We all know how difficult it can be to set aside time for ourselves when we are so busy. Most of us have so many obligations that can take us so far away from “us”, there is no time to reset. So what can we do? We first need to understand that in order for changes to last long term, they have to occur slowly. When we commit too much too quickly, it always seems to end the same way. It will start off GREAT, then after about a month, we go right back to the same old habits, and there we are, left to deal with life in the same matter, which gets us nowhere! So, here is the plan… START WITH FINDING FIVE MINUTES, ONCE A DAY… CHOOSE MORNING OR NIGHT Yes, you heard that correct. Five minutes. You pick where in the day you want to do this. I typically tell people that the 5 minutes before you wake up, or the 5 minutes before you go to bed is the BEST place to start. Here are some morning ideas… -SMILE…Nothing gets a good mood flowing like a good smile. Even if you don’t feel like it, fake it, and notice. Smiling, even when you fake it, is a great way to start the positive energy flowing in your body for the day. -WAKE UP GRATEFUL… There is nothing that can set your mind in the right frame of mind for the day, then a morning of feeling grateful for life. So, when you wake up, put a smile on your face, and tell yourself that you are grateful for this wonderful day. -MORNING STRETCH…This is something that you can do right there in bed. An example is to sit up, extend the legs out in front of you, then smile as you stretch your arms over your head, and exhale the arms down into a forward fold. Or better yet, place your yoga mat on the floor near your bed, so as you get out of bed, you can just plop down on your mat and do some morning stretches incorporated with breathing. -MEDITATE…Meditation in the morning, is a great way to release the morning “monkey mind”. I know my mind is always very active in the morning, so this has always been quite beneficial for me. Place a smile on your face, (do you see a pattern here?), close your eyes and practice five minutes of being still. As thoughts come into your mind, accept them, laugh it off, and try again. The idea of smiling is to let your body know that it’s ok if thoughts come in. Over time, once you can understand you don’t need to be perfect, the body is more apt to relax about it and you will find thoughts will take longer to enter the mind. Just keep practicing! Here are a few nighttime ideas… Remember that when we sleep, we give our body the chance to reset and heal, so you can understand why it is SO important to get a good night sleep. -EVENING STRETCH… I made this a habit for myself every night. I get into bed and breathe, stretch and smile, allowing my mind to settle, and let go of the days’ stresses. Notice what a little stretching can do for your body and mind before bed. -BATH / SHOWER.. It’s always very relaxing to take a nice hot shower or warm bath before bed. It soothes the muscles, and releases tension. -MASSAGE…A massage given by your partner or by using a hand held massager is another great way to loosen up some of the tense muscles. Concentrate on the neck and shoulders, since this is the area that we can hold a majority of that tension, but it also very beneficial to massage the back, hands, feet and legs. NOW EXTEND THIS TO TWICE A DAY.. MORNING AND NIGHT.. Once you start to understand how just 5 minutes a day can put you in a positive frame of mind, try both morning and night. You will notice, over time, that your body will start to crave this good feeling, and you will naturally start to increase that time. NOW LET’S BE MINDFUL 3 TIMES A DAY! During the day, we can get busy, but never too busy to add a few quick reminders for ourselves. Here are some great ideas to try to do periodically during the day. -SMILE.. This is easy, because it can be done ANYWHERE, and takes little effort! And I encourage you to smile AT people, since it will encourage the other person to smile back. Make those connections with people, since you never know, you may just make someone’s day! You can crack a smile in the car, to others at work, or to strangers at the grocery store…anywhere! -BREATHE.. This is another easy one to do, since it can be done anywhere. Take a nice deep breath in…and SLOWLY exhale to a 6-7 count. As you exhale, feel the shoulders relax and drop down your back. Repeat anytime you need a reminder to release any extra tension you may have accumulated during the day. -STRETCH.. Take a moment out of your day to stretch the arms up over your head, and exhale down into a forward fold. It takes only a few seconds to do this, and can make a world of difference to take your mind off whatever is causing you stress at that moment. Even if it is only for a few seconds, enjoy those few seconds, and notice. When you you take the time a couple times a day to do this, it gives you a moment to reset. Practice these simple tools enough where they can become a part of your daily routine. Find times of the day you can apply any of the above. (Example: Smile when you get to work, take 5 seconds to inhale in and exhale out slowly when the day at work starts to get stressful.) Find what works best for you, and notice what happens even after only a week! You may start to feel a bit better about yourself and life, by just taking a little bit of extra time for you. Enjoy your wonderful day.. Peace and joy.. xo As I was making breakfast one morning, I cracked open my egg only to find two yolks resting in my pan! How exciting, I thought! Yay! This has to mean good luck!! Looks like I’m gonna have a great day! So, keeping a positive mind, since NOTHING could possibly go wrong today, because I got the two headed yolk, I finished getting ready for church and headed out the door. I should preface by mentioning that my husband and I are Music Directors at our church. He plays the piano / keyboards and runs the musicians, and I run the singers. So, he had to leave, before me, to work with the other musician. I typically get there a little later to work with the singers. So, I get in my car with our two boys…and my car won’t start! “Seriously?” I said. Well, this must be a minor setback, since nothing else could possibly go wrong, because I got the two headed yolk! So, I called my husband who had to come all the way back from church to get me. So, when he got into his car at the church, he realized that he was VERY low on gas. So, before getting us, he stops off in fear of running out, putting us that much more behind schedule. We had people depending on us to be there, so timing was of the essence. So, he picks us up and drives us to church. We are late, so I figured I would concentrate on the one song of concern. As we gather our music together to practice it, my husband’s computer fails to play the background music for this, the one song my husband has to sing. (You see, on any song he sings, he will play a pre-recorded track, so he can concentrate on his singing, allowing him to only have to play minimally.) Well, the computer wouldn’t work, taking up even MORE time, but when it did, decided to do a backup. OHH MYYY! After running the other music while we waited, eventually, it came back on line, we were finally able to sing the song in question. But, for me, it was just something that I wanted to do first. You know when you just want things to be done in a certain way???? Anyhoo, after church, we had to go straight home and get ready for a benefit concert my husband and I were performing in that afternoon. All seemed well. We ate lunch and my husband was able to charge up my dead battery. I needed my car functioning. After our portion of the concert, my day wasn’t over as I had to run out to teach a yoga class, so I needed my car. We got to the concert, had our mic check, and met the other musicians. The concert began, we played our two songs, and I was happy that our portion ended sooner than expected, and I was able to stay to see the next act before having to leave. So, after that next act, I start to leave, and as I’m walking towards my car, I feel a loosening on my foot. Then gosh darn it, the sole of my shoe comes off! I mean COMPLETELY off! So, I end up walking the rest of the way to my car, hobbling, with one shoe missing its entire sole! So, I get in the car, contemplating the day…and I start to laugh. I mean REALLY laugh! I went back to that moment earlier in my mind about the two headed yolk. How I was SOOO happy that today was going to bring me such good luck! And look! Arrggh! I just shook my head and drove off. So, there I was, walking into yoga class, in my dress, with a one shoe with no sole, and my change of clothes in tow. Thinking all my possible bad luck had to be over by now, I start to change. I then realize, I’m wearing a strapless bra, and forgot to bring my other one to change into. Ok, so, have you ever tried to teach a yoga class in a strapless bra? To give you an idea...let me explain. As I told the students to inhale and raise their arms up over their heads, my arms would go up, and the bra would descend downwards. Oy vey! So, periodically during class I would say to the students, “Now close your eyes and really feel what going on inside your body”, and as they did, I would HOIST up my bra and its contents! It was an interesting class, to say the least! So, there was my “good luck day”, filled with pretty much crazy bad luck along the way. But you know what? I am VERY thankful for my day. Why?
There are many ways I could have looked at the days’ events. Probably 15 years ago, I would have cried instead of laughed in my car. I would have let all of those minor (and I say minor, cause they were) bad things of what happened radiate in my mind, and let them bother me and accumulate into huge monstrosities in my brain. The “what if’s” could have taken over and those negative thoughts could have accumulated more negativity and all of it would have stayed with me for at least a couple of days. So, in reality, my reality, that two headed yolk WAS good luck, because the day could have been MUCH MUCH worse...and I’m thankful… Thank you two headed yolk…thank you. Peace and “two headed yolks” to you all! There are some days that we can feel overwhelmed. So, whether it be a stressful day at work, or hosting a function, or even dealing with a family member that you don’t see eye to eye with, we find these days can turn on additional sensations in our body. This, in conjunction with the mind letting loose on thoughts, (an example being what didn’t get accomplished during the day, or what you still need to do), can continue to spiral inside us as long as we allow it to. So what can we do? Allow awareness.. The first thing we should do, is the bring yourself aware to the situation. Allow yourself to understand that you are going through a difficult time. When we make ourselves aware, we allow the mind to connect with the part of us that we need to change. Breathe… A few simple minutes of breath work can start the process of letting go. Be sure that you take a nice slow breath, and exhale longer than your inhale, which kicks in the parasympathetic nervous system of the body to start the relaxation process. Try inhaling to a count of 4, and exhaling to a count of 6 or 7. Repeat several times, and while doing so, focus directly on the feeling of the air going in and out of the nostrils. Allow your shoulders to drop down your back and feel the relaxation resonate through your body… Let it go.. One of the most important things here, is to not hold on to the stress. As soon as the stress is over, let it be over. Start to relax the body and let it go. By holding on to the stress, you are burdening your body with something it doesn't need. Don't allow any additional thoughts on the matter, since the mind can become unleashed and will drag you down. Be good with the fact that the stress is gone now, and return to what is important...YOU. Take time for yourself… Sometimes we need to just separate ourselves from the situation at hand that is stressing us out. Find a quiet area or, even better, go for a walk! Allow yourself time to let go of all the days’ stressors and focus on what is going on right now. Maybe you are sitting on your front porch sipping some tea, or in your room listening to some calming music. Maybe you are taking a soothing bath, taking a walk around the block, or outside reading your latest book. The images I just portrayed CAN be yours if you allow for it. We have choices, and in order for changes to occur we need to MAKE time for them. We all have these days. TRUST ME! But with all difficult days…they eventually pass. So, after you get home from that stressful day at work, or after the kids go to bed, or after you finish up with dinner, be sure to make some time for yourself. Give yourself the time. You deserve it! With love and peace.. XO I think that most people, at some point in their lives, have had some sort of fear of flying. I know I always have. Maybe I watched one too many “bad flight” movies growing up, or I maybe let 9/11 set too much in my mind. Either way, you are NOT alone in your fear. I had this fear for years. I would even give up cool vacation destinations to get out of getting on a plane. But, it wasn’t until my husband showed interest in becoming a pilot, that I knew it was time to really buckle down and try very hard to get over this. I personally think that a majority of flying fears come from a basic fear of the unknown. Most people don’t fear driving a car, because they drive them every day, and feel confident in their driving abilities. But there are those that do fear driving, and may lack the confidence in how they, or other people drive. They may also have had an incident, or a close call incident, that triggered the fear inside. Let’s face it, most of us don’t understand planes and how they function. It’s this lack of understanding that can spark a fear inside many of us. The “fear of the unknown”, can dominate because we just don’t understand the mechanics, or realize how safe we actually are! Take, for an example, if a person drove an electric car all their life. That person may fear getting into a gas fueled car, because in their mind, the word “gas” can mean “explosion” right? The thought of driving around with “gas” surrounding them may trigger anxiety of the unknown. But the reality is, they just simply don’t understand that cars just don't explode, and without that knowledge, the mind can take off into that negative mindset. Another fear can be stemmed from the lack of control you have on the situation. Since you are a “passenger”, and don't know how to fly the plane, there is a feeling of helplessness. If something goes wrong, some people feel there is nothing they can do, and that can scare them. This type of fear is seen widely in those who have control issues. Still another possible trigger is the fear of heights. For some, to be up that high is just a scary place to be. (If this is you, just be sure you take an isle seat!) That said, there are some steps you can take that may help aide in this fear. As with any fear, you need to work on this slowly. Once your mind realizes that plane flights aren’t something to get so worked up about, the fears can lessen, and you can enjoy flying again, or, like with me, to at least tolerate them. I hope these can be helpful for you, since they helped drastically for me. So, for those who need some advice to just get on that plane, try this. Allow yourself the time to go to an airport, and just sit back and watch the planes take off and land. I did this at our local small engine airport, and it was very helpful for me. After a few days of watching them take off and land so much, it made the idea of planes themselves seem a bit less frightening. I took notice that there were so many planes coming and going, and everything seemed structured and safe. I took note that there was never an issue with any of the planes. I even started to smile and tell myself, "The people on board find flying fun and exciting. I can find this fun and exciting." It's the idea of trying to change a negative thought process into a positive one. The activity of watching the planes come and go without incident, will start to build up the feeling of TRUST in the pilots. Remember that they do this job day in and day out, without incident. And to actually have an incident is about 1 in 3 million! You are safer on a plane then you are in your car. So, when it's time to make flight arrangements, be sure to do your research on each airline, and each specific flight! Start by choosing a direct flight, if you can. There is nothing that can more create additional stress, than the thought of missing a connecting flight. There is also the factor of delays. Even though this can happen on any flight, even direct, you reduce this stress, by eliminating the second time you need to get on and off a plane, and long wait times in between. Another thing to consider is what the airline provides for entertainment. My anxiety has been greatly reduced on those airlines and flights that have in-flight entertainment. I personally like JetBlue, since every seat has their own personal TV on the seat in front of them, and on all flights! So, why is entertainment on a flight so important to me? It gives my mind something different to focus on, other than my fears. In addition, JetBlue has FREE movies. I always take advantage of this on every flight. Why? Typically, the flights I take are a couple of hours in length, so it is easy to get into a movie to take my mind off any negative thoughts. By the time the movie is over, the flight is pretty much over too, which lessens the time for anxiety to build. Also, watching a movie means that I won’t be bothered with commercials that can break the momentum of the story. (Plus, there are some pretty irritating commercials out there that can interfere with the focus.) I ALWAYS choose a comedy. Why? A comedy will make you smile, and/or laugh. As I have mentioned so many times before, smiling alone can change your mindset, as well as any negativity that may be resting in your mind. (See article: Laughter and Why It’s So Important) If you are unable to get on a flight with a TV, you can always listen to soothing music, watch a movie on your laptop or tablet, or bring your favorite book to read. The idea is to remain distracted and to keep busy, to keep your mind off the lingering thoughts. To add to your comfort, you can always sip on your favorite calming hot tea. I choose Chamomile tea for its anti-anxiety benefits. (I always bring my own teabags, and just ask for a cup of hot water.) Remember to also keep yourself stimulant free, so avoid any caffeine products like chocolate and coffee, and know that even though some tea will indicate “decaf”, there may still be some caffeine in there. For this reason, I stick with herbals.. (see article: Herbal Teas for Anxiety) If you are planning on snacking on something during your flight, I suggest something with tryptophan like turkey, milk, or a banana. These products have a natural relaxant in them, that can also aide in your comfort for the flight. (See article: 3 Best Nutrients for Managing Anxiety.) So, to recap:
Even though I only fly a couple times out of the year, the above has allowed me to be so much less anxious and fearful on flights I take today. I still go for the comedies, and try to take non-stop flights, when possible, but even if it doesn’t work out that way, at this point, I’m good with whatever I end up with. Taking steps, with confidence, can help you reduce the affects of your anxiety and fears. Some of my suggestions mean that you may drop a few extra dollars, so be sure to check the schedules way ahead of time, to try and get the best deals. Either way, I have learned over my years of traveling that sometimes to pay a bit more is WELL WORTH a calmer experience, and a happier me! Keep practicing your focus techniques! (See: 5 Quick Tips to Help Calm Stress and Anxiety). The more you practice these techniques, the easier your brain will be able to focus back to a positive, when negative thoughts come in. If you are in need of taking a flight soon, start to practice what works for you on a DAILY basis. It is a habit to take on negative thoughts when a stressful situation appears. In order to change that habit, you have to practice ways of staying positive during stressful situations. Remember, it's ok to be stressed when stress is near, but its all about how you handle it...how you react..that matters the most. Can you turn off the negative thoughts? Or will you sit with them and allow more to invade your mind, until you are completely overwhelmed? Keep practicing, and be well my friends.... With love and peace.. XO Let’s face it. Life can change on a dime. How will you react? How will you go on? Life changes can be anything from losing a job, to losing a family member. It could be a cancer diagnosis, divorce, the list goes on and on. There are times that we can “prepare” for such events…that is, when we know they are coming. But it’s the events that occur when we least expect it, that cause us the most turmoil. Especially, in times of drastic change, our thoughts can play a major factor in how we react. We can have healthy thoughts or destructive thoughts. We can accept what is happening to us and try to move forward, or we can choose to let the thoughts take over which can lead us down a darker path. So, what can we do to help keep us going?
Keep a Strong Connection with your Family and Friends.. It is never more important to connect with your family and friends than when times are tough. Since life changes can cause us much anxiety and depression, it becomes easy to separate ourselves from others, and internalize. If we do this for too long, we can become “stuck” in the moment of the change, and it can become harder to move on. What we have to realize is that life changes every day, and at every moment. T.S. Eliot states, “Every moment is a New Beginning”. This can’t be more true. Things will change, and things DO change. Knowing this alone is the first step to being more ok with YOU, when things take a turn. Give yourself the time to mourn the event, but then immediately connect with your friends or family. Like everything else in life, “This Shall Pass”… Allow yourself to smile, even laugh, since laughter is proven to be a strong anti-depressant agent. Get Out into Nature.. There is nothing more reveiling in life than to take a stroll along a lakeside, or a hike in the woods. When you get into nature, there is sense of belonging. Since we are all made from this Earth, there is something calming about allowing yourself to get connected to it. Leaves may fall in the Fall, but then they return beautifully in the Spring. Flowers will bloom, then they will die, but then bloom again in the following season, and sometimes even more drastically. It’s the way life works. We live, we experience, things change. We grow, we experience, things change again. Understanding this concept is another great way to helping us feel less alone. Get the Energy Out in a Healthy Manner.. Exercise is the best way for us to let go of those inner thoughts, feelings, and aggressions. Go for a bike ride, take a stroll, go for a run, take a class at the gym or yoga studio. These are just a few examples of things we can do. For those, who may have small children and can’t leave the house, you can clean, climb the stairs, scrub the floors, and cook. The idea is to find something you can do, physically, and that you can focus your attention on. Remember that the more you allow the mind to focus on the event, the more the thoughts can come into play. Allow Quiet Time to Meditate.. There is a difference between “being with your thoughts alone” and “meditating”. Be sure that you understand the difference. When you are alone with your thoughts, you can have the tendency to allow thoughts in, creating more thoughts, which could end up being hurtful. It is in these times that the mind can take over with the questions: “What am I going to do?”, or “How could this happen?”, or “How can I go on?” which can lead into anxiety. So, if the unfortunate event is a lost spouse, then the healthy way to use the question “What am I going to do?”, is to think about what you need to do in the sense of getting material things in order. THAT notion is different from the unhealthy way of creating mental instability by telling yourself “you can’t handle anything without that person.” You need to understand the difference. The truth is you CAN handle life, you just have to understand the changes that need to occur in order to do so. It’s not easy, especially at first, but as with everything else, it will get better over time. Have faith. So by meditating, I mean allowing yourself time for stillness while not letting any thoughts in. With meditation, it will become clear what is important to think about and what is not. Know that you can’t change the past. What you have is right now. The feelings that you allow yourself to have are YOUR choice. You can allow yourself a smile, or you can allow yourself a frown. Which will you choose? (for more on meditation, see itstartwithyouwellness.com) Remember that we can’t change the past. It’s over. We can’t worry about the future. It hasn’t happened yet, and things can change even before the future event, so why worry? What is important is the NOW. The present moment. Scan your body…what are you feeling now? Now bring a smile to your face. It was your choice to do that, and notice… It is our choices that make up who we are. We will have many experiences in our lives, but it is how we will react to them, and how we CHOOSE to react that make us who we are.. Be well my friends..XO So, it has been said that our mind can create up to 60,000 thoughts in a day. It may be hard to believe, but thoughts come and go all day long. A lot of them just come and go since they aren’t important, but there are some that we pay more attention to. And it’s these attention grabbing thoughts that can create us joy.. or even sadness. We choose which thoughts we are going to give attention to. Think about that for a moment. We CHOOSE the thoughts we are going to pay attention to. To explain, let’s say we are driving, and we see a boy cross the road. A thought may enter your mind about the way he is dressed, and think “that boy is dressed sloppy”, but you let it go and continue driving, because as quickly the thought came in, it was more important to focus on the song that just came on the radio. But the car behind you may look at the boy and say, “that boy is dressed sloppy”, followed by the thought “why do kids dress so sloppy these days”, which can lead into “why does my nephew dress like that anyway”.. which can lead into “why is he such a deadbeat, and why can’t he just smarten up”. This can lead into a domino affect of thoughts that can create us stress, if we allow them to. I will say again.. IF WE ALLOW THEM TO. Two cars, same boy. One driver lets it go, while the other allows stress to build, because that person decided to give the thought attention. If you give a thought attention, the mind has been given permission to run with it. Think about how many times one thought turned into stress for you. The answer may be “too many to count”. And that is NOT a bad answer, because we ALL do it! You are NOT alone. So what can we do? Well, just by knowing this, we can give ourselves additional power against our thoughts! Just KNOWING thoughts can create more thoughts, allows us to be more conscious when we do our thinking. When we KNOW a certain thought or situation can cause us stress, we can put the brakes on right there and say to ourselves, “this can lead me into stress and anxiety, so I need to let this go!” Then purposely put a smile on your face and think of something funny someone said or put a positive thought in your mind. It’s always good to have a “positive thought bank”, as I like to call it. A bunch of thoughts you can redirect to, as you need. So, if a negative thought enters your mind, you can switch gears to the positive thought and Boom! You can free yourself from the domino affect. Now, this MAY take some time to learn and get used to, especially, if a particular type of thought, or a "trigger thought" has a hold on you. Remember that you gave that thought importance, so the mind had permission to run with it. I was very proud of my son the other day. We were watching “The Angry Birds Movie”, and there was a scene where Red Bird comes across a welcoming sign with an annoying looking bird on it. Red Bird stares at it for a while, then immediately gets angry and throws himself at the sign and rips it apart. So in Red Birds mind, the sign was mocking him and laughing at him. The longer he looked at the sign the more thoughts created anger inside him, which ultimately led to him ripping the sign apart. My son just looked at me, laughed and said, “All that could have been avoided if he just walked away”. Absolutely! If you attach yourself to a thought, in this case, a thought that said, “that sign is mocking you”, it can lead to more thoughts, which may not even be true, that can ultimately lead you into a reaction that you may regret. Remember, thoughts are ok, unless they give you stress, and can push you towards a negative reaction. If you start to get worked up about a particular thought, it may be time to back off, or detach from the thought, and think happy thoughts, so to speak. The more you know yourself and how your own thought process works, the easier it may be to help you alleviate your own stress and anxiety… Love and peace.. |
Michelle FalcoMichelle has a BS, E-RYT, YACEP, CHN, CLYL, and Y12SRL. Archives
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