Its that time of year again. It’s the time of year that we decide to make those significant changes in our life for the better. Now that’s all fine and dandy… IF we can stick to them. We call this decision to change a “resolution”, which is defined as: “a firm decision to do or not do something”. Resolutions can vary from wanting to exercise more, eating healthier, treating someone better, changing a negative action, or starting that new plan that you keep putting off. But what seems to happen with most resolutions, especially those of which we want to exercise more, or eat healthy, is that we start off dedicated, yet, over time, we end up trailing back into our old ways. This may lead us needing to create the same resolution the following year...with similar results. Why does this happen, and why can’t we just stick to it? First, let’s look at the word “resolution”. Maybe we shouldn’t think of it as a resolution, but more like a “change of habit”. A habit is defined as: “a behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary”. The difference between the resolution definition and the habit, is that a resolution doesn’t have that “follow a regular pattern” involved with it. A resolution is basically just a decision you make. So, for those looking to create a physical change, like exercising more, eating better, or changing a negative action, unless you create a new HABIT out of this type of resolution, it has a good chance of failure. In order for this new idea to stick, you need to bring this change directly into your daily life. But be careful. If you expect too much of yourself and take on TOO much too soon, you may increase the chance of failure as well. For example, if you say to yourself, “I will run five miles a day”, you may feel the need to actually run five miles EVERY day. So, when life happens, as it always does, and you don’t have time to run the five miles one day, you may say to yourself “I’ll do it tomorrow” which opens the door for a pattern of failed attempts. With this type of resolution, you need to be PATIENT with yourself, and just make your ideas more broadened. So, instead, say to yourself, “I will walk every day at this time”, and leave the rest open ended. The point is that you want to, at least, walk, every day. Maybe some days you will run, maybe other days you will walk more of a distance, other days it may be a shorter distance, and that’s ok. The point is to repeat the same type of activity over and over, to create a habit. Over time, and once that habit takes over, you won’t have to worry about doing it or not, because the activity will become second nature. Think of it like brushing your teeth. It's a good habit to brush your teeth every morning. We may not brush the same way every day, BUT we, at least, brush our teeth. Think of these new habits you want to work into your life the same way. You don't have to do it the SAME every day, just be sure that you are doing it in some way shape or form. Remember, that in order for a habit to develop, it not only needs to be repeated over and over, but it needs to remain easy to complete. If you make it too difficult, chances are you may not follow through. Just as it may have taken time to develop poor habits, give yourself the time that is needed to reverse those poor habits into healthy habits. We create most of our habits out of enjoyment or ease, or from what soothes us in some way, so try to make your new habit enjoyable and fun! Keep smiling through, and remain positive about it. So, what if you are looking to lose that extra weight you put on over the holidays? Do yourself a favor, and try not to settle for the “quick fix diet attempt”. This is where people take a week or two and basically starve themselves to shed some of that unwanted weight. How do we learn to eat properly by starving the body? Sure, some may lose a bit of that weight, but what happens within a month or so? The weight all comes right back, and we go right back to the same poor eating habits that got us there in the first place! Instead of learning healthy habits, the poor habits remain, and nothing changes. So how can we get those habits to stick? As I stated earlier, be PATIENT with yourself. This is especially true concerning weight loss, since losing weight not only takes time, but it varies from person to person. So, if one person can lose a certain amount of weight in a few weeks, it may take another person twice as long to lose that same amount. Our bodies are all different, so you need to accept what is, and try not to get frustrated with sluggish results. Slowly start creating new eating habits. Start with slow changes, since the body will respond to that. Look at all the choices of food you make now, and figure which appropriate changes you can tolerate. You can switch out simple sugars, like cookies and cakes, with sweet fruits like pineapple, oranges, or apples. This way, you are still giving your body the sweetness it craves, only in a healthier form. For those that crave the crunch to snack on, you can replace those chips with crunchy nuts, celery, carrots, or broccoli. Create a habit of choosing the healthier foods and by having ample amounts of fruits and vegetables readily available in the fridge for the times you need that quick snack. (You can buy vegetables and fruits already chopped up, so they are just grab and go, so there is not excuse!) These little starter tidbits will help you get on your way to a healthier you! Think about the daily habits you already have in your life, and how you can create new ones to go with them. For example, think about how you brush your teeth every morning. It’s a habit. You may do it a bit differently every day, but you still do it. Think of other habits you may have in your life, and try to get these new healthy habits to accompany them in the mix. We are all human so allow yourself a couple of setbacks….but LEARN from them! Be aware of how you feel when you eat chips over celery, or cookies over oranges. Be aware of how you feel if you skip a day of walking, and how much better you felt after you went for that walk or when you progressed into a run. Connect with your body to tune into those feelings and how you feel. The body responds to what it needs and what makes it feel good. Exercise makes the body feel good, just as eating healthy makes the body feel healthy. Start slow and steady as you connect within, and release that happy, healthy person you have inside. Good luck.. and Happy New Year!! XO
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I love this Christmas-y time of year! It’s a time for Christmas decorations, Christmas music, and social gatherings! Each year, I look forward to it all, as I break into our Christmas bins with all the decorations waiting to be placed around the house. It all starts with me putting on Christmas music while organizing everything, which is soothing to my soul. I’m always sure to give myself a week to get everything up, so I don’t ever rush, and allow the creativity to soar. Always skeptical that all the lights will work after sitting for a year, I take my time to go thru them. Along with the lights, I also have an electronic set of Christmas bells that I string along the garland on the stairwell each year. As I open the box each year, I grit my teeth in the hopes they will continue to play for me. Those bells have been around for over 15 years at this point, and have survived so many Christmases, that each year I’m grateful they will play another year. As I continue thru the bins, I always come across a lighted Angel that was used for years as the tree topper when I was a kid. She doesn’t work at this point, (and if she did, she would probably be a fire hazard), but it’s nice to take a moment to remember her as she was. She has become a token of Christmases of the past for me, and it’s nice to just take that moment as a reflection…and then move on. Once all the house decorations are up, it becomes time to search for our tree. I try to find the one that will fit just perfectly in the spot near the window, and I won’t stop looking till I find it. And if, by chance, it doesn’t fit as I’d like, or it isn’t shaped as nice, I grab my limb trimmers and MAKE it fit, and shape it till it’s as good as it can get. Getting ready for the holidays has always been a tradition that turns into a time of reflection for me. Not only are the decorations a tradition, but also the music. When I turn on the Christmas music, I allow it to consume me. Whether it’s the music we hear on the radio or the beautiful music of the Advent season, I wait all year to hear the tunes, and then I can’t seem get enough of it. Even though its a busy time of year, it's a glorious time of year. And as perfect as the above sounds, you need to be aware that I HAVE CHOSEN to create this for myself. I choose to let the music move me. I choose to let decorating be a relaxing, beautiful moment for me. I choose to enjoy this time of year. For many, the Christmas season isn't so joyous, and can bring about sadness and even depression. Many times this is brought on by the loss of a friend or family member during this time. I myself, lost my grandmother around the holiday time. Yes, it was a sad time, but I have always thought to myself that she wouldn’t have wanted us to sulk over her during the holidays. She would have wanted us to CELEBRATE the holidays! It was unfortunate how her death took a toll on some, and when it did, I took in those feelings, and allowed them to all sink in. I saw and felt the sadness, as well as the depression from others. And even as sad and depressed as I was, I was just as determined to NOT let it ruin such a joyous season. I chose a different path. I chose to keep my head up high and to be grateful. And now, I choose to be happy for the times she was in my life, and to keep the Christmas spirit alive in me. Like everything else, we have choices. I choose to celebrate her life, and to take in happiness, instead of feeling the emptiness. She loved Christmas, and I choose to carry on that tradition of bringing joy and love and hope and trust and faith to my family. I choose to smile and take my time as I put all the decorations up around the house. I make it a fun event, a joyous event, and never a forced event. I choose to be happy. I choose to love the skin I'm in, and I choose to celebrate life during a time that can be so difficult. Taking a positive from a negative, and looking at the world from a different angle, is all it really is, and makes SUCH a difference! So whatever world you're coming from, just allow yourself to be grateful for what you have, appreciative of the people in your life, and happy that you have those around you. It takes time to train your mind to gear towards happiness. So, don’t assume it will happen overnight. Like everything else, it’s a process that takes time to learn and develop. For me, it started with just a smile. A smile that allowed me to start the process I needed to take. With a smile, you can bring in a feeling of contentment and peace. When you feel that peace, it can snowball into feeling grateful. Feeling grateful can then bring on the love of self and for others…and so on. It’s about allowing the process to build when it needs to AS it needs to. If you are having difficulty this holiday season, start with a smile, and smile as many times during the day as you can remember to do so. If you have to force the smile at first, then force the smile. Even a forced smile can reap the positive benefits. Keep adding smiles thru your day, then notice how you feel after a day, a week, then at two weeks. Notice the difference after a month. It's about changing the habit of saddness into a habit of happiness. There will be a point when the positive will start to outweigh the negative, and the joy and happiness will start to find its way thru. Be patient, and allow the gradual change to occur. When I started noticing people smiling at me at the grocery store, I realized that, in fact that I was the one who was smiling. It was that A-HA moment that further proved the power of positivity for me. It's amazing the power of the positive, and how you can make a difference in your own life... May you have peace, love and joy this holiday season.. XO With the holidays approaching fast, it is safe to say that stress and anxiety levels can easily rise during this time. Maybe it’s the long lines and cranky people you see at the stores, or meet if you have to travel. Maybe you are dreading to see that one family member that always seems to make it a point to ruin your holiday. Maybe the holidays trigger sad moments of lost family or friends? Or maybe its just simply that you don’t see yourself having enough time to get everything done. Whatever the concern, it always seems that the holidays create stress, agitation and anxiety for many. Here are some tips to help keep you ahead of it all: 1) Get organized NOW! Don’t wait until the last minute to get all your tasks done. Formulate the lists you need now, so you don’t find yourself scrambling at the worst time. If you are hosting a party, start to organize the meal, and if you think it may be too much, consider having a pot luck, so the burden doesn’t completely fall upon you. If you are organizing the party on your own, you may even ask for help. Find a responsible family member or friend to help you out. Find the ways to keep the experience upbeat and fun! Staying organized and positive, for me, is very soothing, and can certainly keep the stresses down, that can build up fairly quickly. You DON’T know what will happen that day, and why worry about something that may not happen at all! All bets may be off that day, but staying organized and relaxed beforehand, makes it easier to deal with any stresses that may come up. If you are in a better state before, you will be able to process issues as they come up much easier. 2) If you are dreading to see that “certain someone” in your family who always pushes your high stress button, just think that person may be feeling the same way about you! No family is perfect, so smile and be thankful that you don’t have THREE people you have to deal with. And if you do have three people you aren’t looking forward to seeing, then be happy that you don’t have SIX..and so on. My husband frequently tells me that it could always be worse, and that can’t be more true! Stay positive during this stressful time, since it can make a significant difference for your wellbeing. 3) Families change over the years…that it certain! In my family, we certainly do not have those huge family gatherings anymore. Have you ever heard your family harp on “how it used to be”, and how “its just not the same anymore”? The problem with continuing the harp on “how it was” will only make you miss what you could have today! Stop dwelling on the past and create your own NEW memories! Try to stay present! This past Thanksgiving, we decided to take a cruise instead of cooking at home, and it was an amazing experience! Think of different ideas that would be fun for you, especially, if you are alone. 4) If you can’t be with someone this holiday, remember that we live in a wonderful technological world! You can Skype or FaceTime the ones you love, with only a touch of a button. 5) If the season has got you down and feeling low, consider volunteering! It is not only a great way to feel important, but you can meet some wonderful people along the way. You can join a church organization, volunteer to help the needy, volunteer at your local humane society, or you could join a community play, or book club…for just a few examples. The point is to get out there and be involved with something! Feeling important and needed around the holidays keeps away the blues and warms our hearts. 6) Surround yourself with unconditional love. This means be sure to spend time with people who love you no matter what. This may be a best friend, spouce, or even a pet! When my kids were feeling low one day, I decided to take them to the humane society to play with the kittens there. Nothing is more gratifying than receiving a warm hug from a pet to lift the spirits! Their frowns instantly turned to joy. (Caution..may inspire adoption!) 7) Be sure to be getting plenty of sleep! If there is one thing that makes me cranky and irritable, its not getting enough sleep. Be aware that when stresses are high, your body may need to compensate and need even more sleep. 8) Be sure to stay hydrated. Anxiety and stresses can increase when you are running through your energy quicker and not keeping up with your required daily water intake. Be sure drink AT LEAST half of your body weight in ounces. 9) Give yourself time to relax. Even if you can only afford 5 minutes, TAKE IT! In that five minutes you can breathe, relax your shoulders, meditate, and do some easy stretching. These are all wonderful ways to reduce stress. Any time you have more than five minutes, you can read a book, go for a walk, practice some yoga, or CALL a friend, (don’t text). 10) If going out to the stores for gifts has you stressed, remember that you can always order gifts on line. This definitely alleviates the stresses of finding parking, dealing with long lines, listening to cranky people, and losing precious time. As I say ever so frequently, we have choices, and the choice is ours! We can choose to worry or choose to stay organized. We can choose to grieve over the past, or can choose to be happy for the upcoming holiday. We have the choice to let that “someone” get to us, or we can choose to let their actions go. We can allow the situations to build up, or we can breathe and relax as life gets stressful. Allow yourself to be happy this holiday season! Whether you are in a crowd of 30, or its just you, be thankful for everything and everyone you have in your life, wherever they may be. When you keep a positive mindset, you can change your attitude of “surviving the holidays” to “enjoying the holidays”. Peace and joy to you all this season…XO |
Michelle FalcoMichelle has a BS, E-RYT, YACEP, CHN, CLYL, and Y12SRL. Archives
September 2017
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