The Relaxation Guide...
(A self-care approach for those managing stress and anxiety)
by Michelle Falco
Having a stressful day? Anxious? Panicky?
Did you know that you are naturally equipped with the tools to help yourself?
Did you know that you can relax and reset your own body and mind?
This guide was created to help those looking for some relief…
It Starts with You Wellness®
Copyright @2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2023 All Rights Reserved.
Preface:
I developed this guide to help those who hold onto stress, those who suffer from anxiety, and for those who just need to learn how to take time for themselves and relax. Life is not easy. There is no rulebook, and our reactions to life get tested more often than we wish.
My deepest hope is that these words, and tools, will help find you peace and understanding.
This guide is a conglomeration of thoughts and ideas based on my own experiences.
I hope you find this helpful.
Table of Contents:
Part One: Easing into Relaxation
Chapter 1 My Story
Chapter 2 Reasons We Need to Relax
Chapter 3 So, What Can We Do About It?
Chapter 4 Steps to Relaxation
Chapter 5 Other Helpful Tools
Part Two: Managing Anxiety and Stress
Chapter 6 Daily Rituals That Can Help
Chapter 7 Understanding How Foods
Chapter 8 Foods for Anxiety
Chapter 9 Herbal Teas
Chapter 10 Saffron Sniffing (Hormonal)
Chapter 11 Me and My Thoughts
Chapter 12 Why Laughter is So Important
Chapter 13 The Smiling Experiment
Chapter One
My Story
Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
– Joshua J. Marine
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 40 million people in the US alone are reported to suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder. That is almost 20% of the population! But not all anxiety is reported, and as a matter of fact, there are many people who do not even realize they have anxiety. I was one of those people. I had suffered from anxiety for many years, before realizing I was even suffering from it. I was so accustomed to the symptoms, such as muscle tension, increased levels of fears, and feeling edgy, I figured it was the way everyone felt. It was when anxiety took an ugly turn into panic, that I finally realized that it was time to start recognizing what was going on inside of me.
One of the most memorable moments of recognition, was how tense I was. It was not until a friend (massage therapist), gave me a neck massage, that I realized how serious this all was. I lived with incredible muscle tension for years, yet oblivious that it was not normal. Eventually, it was the muscle tension that steered me towards yoga and its teachings.
After a few bouts of panic attacks, I ran to my doctor for answers. He suggested yoga to me, as he was from India, and was well versed in the teachings. Since this wasn’t the first time I was hearing about it, I decided to finally give it a try. I started out doing a gentle practice once a week. I immediately recognized how relaxed and calm I felt after the classes. So, over the next couple of weeks, I decided to increase the practice to twice a week. Feeling the improvements during those two days, I decided to increase the practice to four times a week. I noticed how great I felt during and directly after the classes, but when I got back home, or work, it seemed that life brought me right back to reality.
Funny, we say the words “back to reality” a lot, as if it’s something we humans must negatively endure. In this context, we make it out like it’s a bad thing. But, think about that word, “reality”. What is reality? This is when it all hit me. It’s MY reality. And who makes the choices that mold and form this reality? Me. Nobody, but me. I realized that maybe it was not so much the reality I was LIVING, but the reality I was CREATING for myself that was the root of my issues. That maybe it was my own thought patterns, and reactions that were guiding me. So, in order for me to change my reality, and eventually conquer my issues with muscle tension, anxiety and panic, I needed to somehow incorporate the methods that I was learning, and directly apply them into my daily life to create “the reality” I wanted for myself. I wanted to feel more confident at work. I wanted to be able to handle difficult situations better. I wanted to stop dwelling on my fears and learn how to let them go. Most importantly, I wanted to release the anxiety that was overwhelming my life. Life IS what we make of it, and I was determined to change the habits that had lived inside me for so long, in order to free myself of all that was haunting me.
Since I did not want to live at the yoga studio, I started researching different styles and methods of relaxation. In this process, I started working on my own methods, at home, using tools I read and researched about. The effects of meditation and at home tools, are what eventually calmed away the panic, while I dug deeper to figure out how to eliminate the anxiety, and other habits I had created for myself.
Over time, I developed new habits for myself, that changed my life. I eventually got to the point that I could recognize the sensations in my body that were a precursor for anxiety and panic. This gave me a choice to steer the anxiety into a different direction. So, even now, if any sensations come up, or tension comes into my body, I do not wait. I "nip it in the bud" right then and there by calming my body with the techniques I learned. The times I would wake up at night, I taught myself to use the tools to get myself back to sleep quickly and easily before the endless thoughts took over to keep me awake. Remember that the body reacts to what it thinks is important. So, if you continue to think about your anxiety, your mind will think it is important. The mind will then allow the continuation of harassment of thoughts and increase the sensations in the body. There was a time that I was so internalized with my anxiety, that I was missing what was going on in my life. At my worst, I could have been in a room of people with my focus being so deep inside myself, worrying, that I missed out on the fun I could have been having.
The truth is, we can develop negative “habits” within ourselves. Until you change those negative habits into something positive, you will continue to be haunted by what you “taught” yourself, and those negative ways will persist. We CAN change how we think and respond to stimuli. I am living proof. I went from a tight muscled, edgy, paranoid, anxious and panicky person, to a flexible, calm and relaxed individual, who can handle challenging situations as they arise. Let’s face it. It’s a part of life to be challenged, and to have difficult and even horrible situations arise. We all will have moments of stress and anxiety, as life will always be there to throw a curveball at us. The question is: How will you handle your next challenging situation?
I originally developed the website, It Starts With You Wellness®, (ItStartsWithYouWellness.com), to help those suffering with anxiety and panic. It didn't seem like enough, so I branched into personal coaching, which has been so beneficial for many, but still didn't seem to reach enough people. So I moved the whole format into an app for convenience and ease, and a further reach. My goal in life has altered to a desire to help those who have suffered as I have. I wrote this book as an introduction to the process, to help those who wish to help themselves. I have since developed The Managing Anxiety Program within an app, as I felt the website was not enough to “teach” how to recreate yourself. The Managing Anxiety Program is an at home, self-paced, interactive online course that utilizes multiple therapeutic tools and methods to build inner strength, confidence, courage, and happiness, within the body. It teaches how the mind and body work, for a better understanding of how we “tick”. It can be used alone, or in conjunction with my one to one coaching for the best results. With just a little effort on your part, you can start on the path of releasing anxiety and stress, so you can start living the life you were meant to live. (Click here for more information on The Managing Anxiety Program.)
by Michelle Falco
Having a stressful day? Anxious? Panicky?
Did you know that you are naturally equipped with the tools to help yourself?
Did you know that you can relax and reset your own body and mind?
This guide was created to help those looking for some relief…
It Starts with You Wellness®
Copyright @2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2023 All Rights Reserved.
Preface:
I developed this guide to help those who hold onto stress, those who suffer from anxiety, and for those who just need to learn how to take time for themselves and relax. Life is not easy. There is no rulebook, and our reactions to life get tested more often than we wish.
My deepest hope is that these words, and tools, will help find you peace and understanding.
This guide is a conglomeration of thoughts and ideas based on my own experiences.
I hope you find this helpful.
Table of Contents:
Part One: Easing into Relaxation
Chapter 1 My Story
Chapter 2 Reasons We Need to Relax
Chapter 3 So, What Can We Do About It?
Chapter 4 Steps to Relaxation
Chapter 5 Other Helpful Tools
Part Two: Managing Anxiety and Stress
Chapter 6 Daily Rituals That Can Help
Chapter 7 Understanding How Foods
Chapter 8 Foods for Anxiety
Chapter 9 Herbal Teas
Chapter 10 Saffron Sniffing (Hormonal)
Chapter 11 Me and My Thoughts
Chapter 12 Why Laughter is So Important
Chapter 13 The Smiling Experiment
Chapter One
My Story
Challenges are what make life interesting and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful.
– Joshua J. Marine
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, 40 million people in the US alone are reported to suffer from some sort of anxiety disorder. That is almost 20% of the population! But not all anxiety is reported, and as a matter of fact, there are many people who do not even realize they have anxiety. I was one of those people. I had suffered from anxiety for many years, before realizing I was even suffering from it. I was so accustomed to the symptoms, such as muscle tension, increased levels of fears, and feeling edgy, I figured it was the way everyone felt. It was when anxiety took an ugly turn into panic, that I finally realized that it was time to start recognizing what was going on inside of me.
One of the most memorable moments of recognition, was how tense I was. It was not until a friend (massage therapist), gave me a neck massage, that I realized how serious this all was. I lived with incredible muscle tension for years, yet oblivious that it was not normal. Eventually, it was the muscle tension that steered me towards yoga and its teachings.
After a few bouts of panic attacks, I ran to my doctor for answers. He suggested yoga to me, as he was from India, and was well versed in the teachings. Since this wasn’t the first time I was hearing about it, I decided to finally give it a try. I started out doing a gentle practice once a week. I immediately recognized how relaxed and calm I felt after the classes. So, over the next couple of weeks, I decided to increase the practice to twice a week. Feeling the improvements during those two days, I decided to increase the practice to four times a week. I noticed how great I felt during and directly after the classes, but when I got back home, or work, it seemed that life brought me right back to reality.
Funny, we say the words “back to reality” a lot, as if it’s something we humans must negatively endure. In this context, we make it out like it’s a bad thing. But, think about that word, “reality”. What is reality? This is when it all hit me. It’s MY reality. And who makes the choices that mold and form this reality? Me. Nobody, but me. I realized that maybe it was not so much the reality I was LIVING, but the reality I was CREATING for myself that was the root of my issues. That maybe it was my own thought patterns, and reactions that were guiding me. So, in order for me to change my reality, and eventually conquer my issues with muscle tension, anxiety and panic, I needed to somehow incorporate the methods that I was learning, and directly apply them into my daily life to create “the reality” I wanted for myself. I wanted to feel more confident at work. I wanted to be able to handle difficult situations better. I wanted to stop dwelling on my fears and learn how to let them go. Most importantly, I wanted to release the anxiety that was overwhelming my life. Life IS what we make of it, and I was determined to change the habits that had lived inside me for so long, in order to free myself of all that was haunting me.
Since I did not want to live at the yoga studio, I started researching different styles and methods of relaxation. In this process, I started working on my own methods, at home, using tools I read and researched about. The effects of meditation and at home tools, are what eventually calmed away the panic, while I dug deeper to figure out how to eliminate the anxiety, and other habits I had created for myself.
Over time, I developed new habits for myself, that changed my life. I eventually got to the point that I could recognize the sensations in my body that were a precursor for anxiety and panic. This gave me a choice to steer the anxiety into a different direction. So, even now, if any sensations come up, or tension comes into my body, I do not wait. I "nip it in the bud" right then and there by calming my body with the techniques I learned. The times I would wake up at night, I taught myself to use the tools to get myself back to sleep quickly and easily before the endless thoughts took over to keep me awake. Remember that the body reacts to what it thinks is important. So, if you continue to think about your anxiety, your mind will think it is important. The mind will then allow the continuation of harassment of thoughts and increase the sensations in the body. There was a time that I was so internalized with my anxiety, that I was missing what was going on in my life. At my worst, I could have been in a room of people with my focus being so deep inside myself, worrying, that I missed out on the fun I could have been having.
The truth is, we can develop negative “habits” within ourselves. Until you change those negative habits into something positive, you will continue to be haunted by what you “taught” yourself, and those negative ways will persist. We CAN change how we think and respond to stimuli. I am living proof. I went from a tight muscled, edgy, paranoid, anxious and panicky person, to a flexible, calm and relaxed individual, who can handle challenging situations as they arise. Let’s face it. It’s a part of life to be challenged, and to have difficult and even horrible situations arise. We all will have moments of stress and anxiety, as life will always be there to throw a curveball at us. The question is: How will you handle your next challenging situation?
I originally developed the website, It Starts With You Wellness®, (ItStartsWithYouWellness.com), to help those suffering with anxiety and panic. It didn't seem like enough, so I branched into personal coaching, which has been so beneficial for many, but still didn't seem to reach enough people. So I moved the whole format into an app for convenience and ease, and a further reach. My goal in life has altered to a desire to help those who have suffered as I have. I wrote this book as an introduction to the process, to help those who wish to help themselves. I have since developed The Managing Anxiety Program within an app, as I felt the website was not enough to “teach” how to recreate yourself. The Managing Anxiety Program is an at home, self-paced, interactive online course that utilizes multiple therapeutic tools and methods to build inner strength, confidence, courage, and happiness, within the body. It teaches how the mind and body work, for a better understanding of how we “tick”. It can be used alone, or in conjunction with my one to one coaching for the best results. With just a little effort on your part, you can start on the path of releasing anxiety and stress, so you can start living the life you were meant to live. (Click here for more information on The Managing Anxiety Program.)
Chapter Two
Reasons We Need to Relax
“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.” -Chinese Proverb
Stress
What is stress?
The definition of “stress” is “a state of mental tension and worry caused by problems in your life, work, etc.
Another definition is: "a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives demands that exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.”
Stress can be caused by something we are currently dealing with, or something within our grasp. So, an example may be a deadline that you cannot seem to meet while on the job, that can cause pressure you can feel inside your body. So, when someone has a limited amount of time to complete a task, and that deadline is closer than the time needed to complete the task, a person can feel “stress”. Once the job is done, however, the stress can lift, and a feeling of relief may endure, at least until the next project.
Here is another example. Say you were a teenager, and you knew you were running late getting home from a night out with your friends. You know how angry your parents would be if you arrived later than your curfew. So, you dwell and “stress” about this until you got home. Once you were home, and you realized your folks were only upset that you did not call to say you were running late, the stress lifted, and you went to bed.
Stress may feel like pressure inside of the body. It can also show itself as a feeling of dread in the pit of the stomach. It may also feel like energy surging in different areas within the body. Typically, a known stress keeps the mind focused on the worry about a certain event or issue, but it can also be an overwhelming feeling of “what if’s” within the mind. Either way, it is limited to the issue at hand.
When we dwell on a stressful situation, we can compound the stress by holding onto our feelings of worry and tension. This can lead to “chronic stress”, or stress we feel all the time.
The problem with chronic stress is that the feelings of worry and tension can develop into more emotional problems, and include anxiety.
Anxiety
What is anxiety?
The definition of anxiety has been described as: "a state of apprehensive uneasiness of the mind, usually over an impending or anticipated ill".
It has also been described as: "a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome".
Still another would describe anxiety as: "a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with a compulsive behavior and panic attacks".
If I could write a definition, using my own personal experience about the subject, it would be as follows: "a state of extreme worry and unease brought on by fear, and of unknown origin, resulting in compulsive behavior of the fear of impending doom, which can ultimately lead into panic attacks."
I think my definition is clearer than the first three, simply because the others failed to use the most important word in their description. And that word is FEAR.
Anxiety is fear based and goes much deeper than stress. Where stress may cause additional pressure upon a person at any given moment, once the issue is resolved, so is the stress.
Anxiety can be a dwelling on an unknown future, or a “fear of the unknown”. It is based on a fear that we cannot control. What we need to understand about anxiety, is the role the mind takes in the process.
When we are anxious, our mind has built up an overwhelming amount of worry, which ultimately have created fears, based on events going on in our lives. When the mind takes over, we can start to develop compulsive behavior, since we cannot seem to let go of a certain issue. We end up worrying too much about subjects that just do not need that sort of attention.
How anxiety can develop and build:
When an issue develops, or occurs in our life, and we allow our minds to dwell on the incident or situation, the body can start to negatively react to the situation.
1) We can start to develop negative thought patterns, which is our mind giving direct focus to an issue at hand. This is where the term “Where energy flows, the mind goes” comes from. The more attention you give something, the more the mind will settle into it. Over time, if the pattern of negative thoughts continues, eventually it can build up, causing the mind to develop a “fear” within the body. Once a fear takes over, the mind will send out ways of protection, to keep you safe. This is where the “fight or flight” response gets involved.
2) Muscle tension is a tool the body uses to protect itself. As the “fight or flight” response gets activated, our muscles will start to contract to try and shield the body from a possible danger. The more the issue at hand remains unresolved, the more negative thought patterns can flow into our minds. As we attach to the stress that accompanies this, the more tension we will feel in the body.
It’s one thing to just have negative thought patterns come into our minds, that we can easily let go of. It’s another thing when we hold onto these negative thoughts, to a point that they lead into a fear. This is where the anxiety develops. We can get stressed about certain situations, but it’s when we can’t let go of the situation, and it leads into a FEAR, that we step into anxiety, over stress. In addition, due to the muscular tension, we can start to feel weird sensations inside our bodies. If we don’t ignore these sensations, we can start to question them. “What is that?” As pressure builds, sensations build and become more prevalent. The more prevalent the sensations, the more we start to put a direct focus on these sensations. The more focus we give the sensations, the more power they receive, and ultimately, the more we worry about them. (Where energy flows, the mind goes.) We can focus so much on these sensations, that we can start to believe that there is something wrong with our body. We can feel that somehow our body (or body systems: digestive, nervous) has somehow turned against us. This can lead us into a pattern of fear of our health. We can worry so much, it can become a compulsion, and a habit. Then ultimately, we can start to look at every sensation and pain, as if each are somehow life threatening, and can worry to the brink of panic.
This type of compulsive behavior can also stem from emotional baggage that was held onto for too long. This could be something like a fear from childhood that can resonate through life. What can start as a mundane issue, if given time, can build up, and the mind can take over, and mold it into a fear. So, each time the same or similar situation arises, the mind reminds us of the initial fear, and the body reacts. This can show up as a churning of the belly, to eventually, (if goes unresolved and severe enough), great sensations that radiate through the body, which could worry the mind into full-blown panic attacks.
To sum up, when these situations go without resolution, or our minds get so filled with worry and fear, we can stress our bodies to the brink, which is how people can end up with panic attacks.
Levels of Anxiety:
_1. _Mild Anxiety: is the typical anxiety one may feel from day to day. A solution seeking level, based on a fear of a challenging event. You may feel uncomfortable, but not overwhelmed, with little compulsion trying to solve the problem, yet still in control. You may notice yourself fidgeting, being more irritable, and your palms may sweat.
_2. _Moderate Anxiety: in addition to the above symptoms, a person may also feel overwhelmed, with increased compulsion about the problem, or with increased sensations in the body. You may have symptoms such as nausea, sweating, increased irritability, heart rate and blood pressure increases, belly aches and increased muscle tension.
3. Severe Anxiety: when a person can experience panic attacks, which might feel like a total loss of control of the entire body; feeling helpless, hopeless, and exhausted. At this level, you would not be able to get an issue out of your mind and are completely overwhelmed with compulsion over it. You may have a hard time getting to sleep or may wake up in the middle of the night frequently, as your mind is focused completely on what is bothering you. You may have symptoms such as dizziness, high heart rate, high blood pressure, sweating, stomach aches, loss of desire for normal activities, exhaustion, shaking, and feeling: out of control, depressed, and alone.
Panic and Panic Attacks
What is a panic attack?
One definition is: "a sudden feeling of acute and disabling anxiety".
Another is: "an episode of intense fear or apprehension that is of sudden onset".
If I could create a definition, based on my experience, it would be as follows: "a sudden intense fear and sensation, which overwhelms and disables the body, leaving the sufferer scared and feeling out of control".
Experiencing a panic attack is nothing like anything experienced before. It literally feels like you are having a heart attack. If you have never experienced a panic attack, let me give you an idea of what many people go through. A panic attack can appear out of nowhere, and without warning. Your heart would immediately race and pound out of your chest, uncontrollably. A sense of cloudiness may overcome you, and you may feel lightheaded. The chest may tighten, and you may have this sudden feeling of being totally out of control. It, by far, has been the scariest sensation I have ever experienced in my life.
So why do some people experience this type of horrific event?
We discussed earlier that built into our brain is this wonderful feature called the “fight or flight” response. This is a totally normal reaction we have within us, that gives us the ability to recognize when a threat is near or here, as it gives us the energy to fight...or run.
In my opinion, there are two sides to this “fight or flight” response. One side of this feature is to keep us safe from a “material danger”. An example would be something like a tiger or a person chasing you. It is a physical entity. The threat is something that lives and is in our presence.
But, the other side of this feature, is when we present a “danger in the mind”. This can also kick in the “fight or flight” response. How? When we create enough negative thoughts about a situation, our mind can manipulate the nervous system into thinking there is a danger in front of us. The nervous system can think we are in the same similar situation of being chased by something or someone and can create the same feeling of danger. This is the power of how negative thoughts can alter our wellbeing.
We can create such strong situations in our mind, that the mind can fool the body into thinking it’s in danger.
This, of course, kicks in an adrenaline boost to give us the ability to fight…or run. (aka. panic attack.)
If you experience panic attacks, it should be taken as a HUGE eye opener that your body is trying to tell you something. It could be:
· You are overwhelmed
· You have something going on that needs to be dealt with. (physically, mentally, emotionally)
· You need to take time for yourself.
· You are worrying about things you have no control over.
When we hold onto uncomfortable situations for too long, we are giving these situations attention they do not need. Remember “Where energy flows, the mind goes”. Our body will react to what we give attention to. If we notice more tension, or we seem to have more worry and sensations, there may be something that needs to be addressed. The more an issue goes unresolved, the more the mind can feed into it. When worry gets overwhelming, the door opens for fears to arise. A cycle of fears can begin, and the nervous system will always be ready to react. When anxiety builds, and the nervous system gets to a maximum point, the next situation that comes up can throw the person over the top, and into a panic attack.
Unfortunately, once you experience a panic attack, it becomes easier to continue having them. Some people can even get to a point of creating a “panic cycle”. When you are at that high level of anxiety, the body’s nervous system is also at a high level. It is at this state, cortisol levels, blood pressure, and resting heart rate can elevate. This is where it becomes most important to relax the body and mind, since the body can become more overworked, opening a door for fatigue and depression to settle in. When the “panic cycle” starts, the next worry can become, “when will I have my next panic attack?” The nervous system becomes completely overwhelmed, and the person may end up in a state of constant fear and left feeling helpless.
When a person has underlying issues that stem from childhood, this way of living with anxiety may actually feel like the norm, where a pattern of anxiety can continue from day to day. In this state, the body reaches its limit quicker and easier, and any additional stressors can cause more attacks. Because the body has become so “high strung”, the best way to start getting the body back into balance, is to find ways to calm the nerves.
Cortisol is a corticoid steroid created in the body, by our adrenal glands. When a stressful situation occurs, the adrenal glands release cortisol into the body to help ramp up the body to deal with the stress at hand. When we allow ourselves to get worked up repeatedly, the adrenal glands can go into overtime creating more and more cortisol in response to the stressors. This is where the term “adrenal fatigue” comes from. The body can become exhausted from trying to keep you safe from the fears you are responding to. It’s helpful to understand the cortisol level in your body, to recognize how much your body is being stressed. There is a blood test you can take to see how high your cortisol level is. If it is high, it is essential to find ways of relaxing the body to calm the nerves. Finding ways of reducing stress and anxiety is key here if you ultimately want to find relief.
Muscle Tension
Muscle tension: "is a state of which the muscles are semi-contracted", not fully contracted, but semi-contracted. That tightness we feel in the body, is our muscles in a semi-contracted state.
What Causes Muscle Tension?
These are the two major sources:
1. Tension from overworked muscles
2. Tension caused by stress
Where Can Tension Occur in the Body?
The most common place for muscle tension to occur is the neck and shoulder area, especially for women.
Other areas for muscle tension to occur:
1. Jaw
2. Belly
3. Hips
But being that we are all different, muscle tension can really show up anywhere. Take a moment to think about where tension sits in your body.
Where do you feel the most tension?
Stress is the key factor in creating muscle tension in our body. Muscle tension will stay with us until the stress is resolved.
If stress does not get resolved, it can turn into chronic stress. This is a state of prolonged tension, which can lead into fears, causing anxiety, and even panic attacks.
Have you ever noticed that when you are stressed or anxious that your body is tense?
Remember that our body is set up to tense up when a stressful situation occurs.
The Role of Muscle Tension:
As stated earlier, when we get stressed emotionally, the nervous system gets activated, and hormones are released. These hormones send out signals that the body is in trouble, which activates muscle tension, and ramps up the body to be ready for a fight, in order to protect the body. If the stress only occurs every once and a while, the body can easily recover from the tension. But, if someone is highly stressed, tension can accumulate within the muscles, and remain there, without being released. This can create chronic tension throughout the body, which may lead into muscular pain, stiffness, soreness, and tightness.
When a person is stressed all the time, he or she can also become hyper stimulated, which is an excessive stimulation of the nervous system. Combine tension and hyperstimulation of the nerves, you are set up for fears to settle in, and the mind can think you need to be protected all the time.
The more stress, the more hyperstimulation, and the more muscle tension develops.
Fear
The definition of fear is: "an unpleasant emotion, caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous".
We can be fearful from:
· Innate Fears (natural or inborn)
· Phobias
· The Five Basic Fears
1. Innate Fears
There are only two truly innate fears in humans.
· The fear of falling.
· The fear from loud noises.
These are both survival behaviors that humans are born with.
Other than the two innate fears, all other fears, we create in our minds.
The good news is, since these types of fears are created, they can also be reversed. And even better, we have tools built into our bodies that can naturally help us deal with our fears.
2. Phobias
Natural fears are necessary as they keep us protected.
Phobias that have been thought as irrational fears, or exaggerated fears, that can impair a person to function normally.
The definition of a phobia is: "an extreme or irrational fear or aversion to something".
My opinion is that no fear is really “irrational”. The mind creates the phobia directly from our experiences, again, to protect us. If an experience made us fearful, that is ok, it’s just important to understand that we can reverse it.
Examples of phobias are: arachnophobia, (fear of spiders), acrophobia, (fear of heights), and agoraphobia, (fear of open spaces).
3. Five Basic Fears
There are five basic fears we can develop during a lifetime. (Outside of the two innate fears) … and they are:
· The Fear of Death. The fear of dying.
· The Fear of Mutilation. The fear of losing some part of our body structure. (The fear of animals or bugs, due to potential of being bit, or stung.)
· The Fear of Autonomy. The fear of being restricted, immobilized, smothered, or losing control. The fear of autonomy causes claustrophobia, (the fear of enclosed spaces.).
· The Fear of Separation. The fear of abandonment and rejection. The fear of not being valued, and where we can develop separation anxiety.
· Fear of Ego Death. The fear of being humiliated and shamed. The fear of being worthless.
These five basic fears can be combined together and depending upon our own personal experiences, can create the fears we live with today.
There is a continuing controversy that some of these basic fears, are actually innate fears. I think it depends on each person individually, as we are all different with different environmental backgrounds. For example, someone who grows up in an inner city, or a war zone, may have different fears from someone who lives in a safe suburb or safe city.
It is said that the five basic fears are typically learned within the first six years of life.
So, for example, as a child, if you watched your dad jump away from a dog, as he showed that emotional fear to you. You may very easily pick up a fear of dogs. Since your mind may have picked up on the “my parent is fearful, therefore, I must be fearful” adage, one could likely adopt or acquire that that fear from them. But, of course, any fear could be created from your own personal experience as well.
If you came up to a dog, at a very young age, and it barked, you could develop a fear here too. Remember, it is just the mind sending signals of protection, in order to keep you safe.
Chapter Three
So What Can We Do About It?
“The journey of a thousand miles, begins with one step.” -Confucius
If you find that your body is stressed, you will need to get the body back into balance. You can start the process of balance, by first learning how to calm the nerves.
To take steps forward you need to:
· Admit that there is something going on in your life that you need to change or modify. Acknowledgement is the first step to freedom. Admit that you need to help yourself.
· Tell yourself that you can do this. Tell yourself that you have the ability to be able to break through the fears to become YOU again.
· Start a DEDICATED program / ritual to help yourself. Remember that you may have developed unhealthy habits that could be promoting stress and anxiety in your life, so you need to be able to commit to a lifestyle change. You will only see improvements if you are dedicated to breaking and releasing the old habits in replacement of new, healthier habits. Most importantly, you need to be ready for change.
· You will honor your body and “give yourself a break” as you need. Change takes time, and you will allow yourself the time you need.
· Allow for setbacks. When setbacks occur, be reminded you are NOT failing, and just keep plugging away. It is all a part of the process. Focus on the positive outcomes, not any negatives that may occur. Let any setbacks go, and just learn from them. We can learn our greatest lessons from setbacks. It only means the process is working!
The next chapter will discuss several steps that can lead into the relaxation of the mind and the body. The ideas presented are just a few snippets taken directly from The Managing Anxiety Program. This will focus in on relaxation, as relaxation is key in this process. When we learn how to “relax on demand”, we can lessen the opportunity for stress and anxiety to build. We can stop anxiety in its tracks, and from forming deeper more fearful outcomes.
Chapter Four
Steps to Relaxation
“I relax my body completely, relax my mind completely, and then imagine myself at a level where anything can happen.” -Richard Bach
1. Take time to tap into your senses …
So, what do the senses have to do with anything? Well, everything, since our senses are a direct link into the brain! Did you know that our five senses of sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste can affect our moods? Think about the last time you were at the beach watching a sunset. How did you feel? How do loud noises affect you? What about soft piano music?
The more we learn about ourselves, and what makes us tick, the easier it becomes to help ourselves when we need it.
So, let’s start by asking yourself: “What resonates with you?” Close your eyes for each of the examples below and picture each in your mind. What resonates best for you?
Sight: a beautiful landscape, a beach scene or sunset, forest scene, night sky.
Sound: soft piano music, birds singing, waves crashing, rain.
Touch: massage, cool breeze against the skin, warm bath or sand in your toes.
Smell: essential oils, flowers, fresh cut grass.
Taste: sweet apple, pineapple, or sour lime.
A wonderful way to start the process of relaxation is to set the mood for it. The mood is important as it creates an atmosphere, where a person can feel free of distractions and safe. And how can we more easily set the mood? One way is to learn which sense is your dominant sense. Since we are all different, no one will be able to tell you, but you can figure it out for yourself.
So, now that you are familiar with the above ideas, ask yourself, which of the senses speaks to YOU most directly? Does soft music calm you? When you close your eyes and envision a beach scene, does it make you smile? Does the smell of peppermint calm your body, or does the feeling of a warm bath sooth your skin and soul?
Maybe it is one of the above, or maybe even a combination of a couple of them. The point is to tap into what you know about yourself. Test out a few, and notice what speaks to you…
When on the path to relaxation, any external stimulus such as music or visualizations are a great place to start. We are all different, so it is time to get to know YOU, and what makes you tick, in order to help you relax and let go.
Pick a sense and your favorite relaxation measure and focus inward. Notice how it makes you feel. Bring a gentle smile to your face, which may help bring a “pleasure” to the experience.
2. Breathe to Relax …
Now that the “mood” is set, the next step is to focus on the breath.
Close your eyes. (This allows you to focus your attention inward, and away from external distractions.) Focus on the breath directly and feel the air as it enters and exits your nose and nostrils. Start by inhaling to a count of about 4, and then exhale, slow and steady, to a count of about 7 or 8.
Every time you exhale longer than the inhale, you are tapping into a part of the nervous system called the parasympathetic nervous system. This is a part of the nervous system that helps calm and relax the body. We call this breathing method, the extended exhale breath. Here again, is a tool that is built into our bodies, that we can use to our advantage.
Now that you understand WHY we breathe like this, start to put it into practice. Notice every time you exhale, that the body can start to release tension on its own. Start to notice the sensations you feel throughout your body. Notice both physical sensations (muscle tension), as well as emotional sensations, (am I feeling sad, tired, happy, etc). Take a moment to accept whatever it is that you are feeling.
Remember that this is all a part of you right now, and it is ok. Be accepting of who you are right now. With every extended exhale, relax the body a little deeper.
To establish relaxation further, or if you are experiencing panic or moderate to severe anxiety, it is helpful to raise the legs above your heart. This movement further taps into the parasympathetic nervous system, and is a great addition to the breath, to further relax the body and mind.
You can raise the legs in any ways shown below. They are all very helpful.
Legs against the wall...
So What Can We Do About It?
“The journey of a thousand miles, begins with one step.” -Confucius
If you find that your body is stressed, you will need to get the body back into balance. You can start the process of balance, by first learning how to calm the nerves.
To take steps forward you need to:
· Admit that there is something going on in your life that you need to change or modify. Acknowledgement is the first step to freedom. Admit that you need to help yourself.
· Tell yourself that you can do this. Tell yourself that you have the ability to be able to break through the fears to become YOU again.
· Start a DEDICATED program / ritual to help yourself. Remember that you may have developed unhealthy habits that could be promoting stress and anxiety in your life, so you need to be able to commit to a lifestyle change. You will only see improvements if you are dedicated to breaking and releasing the old habits in replacement of new, healthier habits. Most importantly, you need to be ready for change.
· You will honor your body and “give yourself a break” as you need. Change takes time, and you will allow yourself the time you need.
· Allow for setbacks. When setbacks occur, be reminded you are NOT failing, and just keep plugging away. It is all a part of the process. Focus on the positive outcomes, not any negatives that may occur. Let any setbacks go, and just learn from them. We can learn our greatest lessons from setbacks. It only means the process is working!
The next chapter will discuss several steps that can lead into the relaxation of the mind and the body. The ideas presented are just a few snippets taken directly from The Managing Anxiety Program. This will focus in on relaxation, as relaxation is key in this process. When we learn how to “relax on demand”, we can lessen the opportunity for stress and anxiety to build. We can stop anxiety in its tracks, and from forming deeper more fearful outcomes.
Chapter Four
Steps to Relaxation
“I relax my body completely, relax my mind completely, and then imagine myself at a level where anything can happen.” -Richard Bach
1. Take time to tap into your senses …
So, what do the senses have to do with anything? Well, everything, since our senses are a direct link into the brain! Did you know that our five senses of sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste can affect our moods? Think about the last time you were at the beach watching a sunset. How did you feel? How do loud noises affect you? What about soft piano music?
The more we learn about ourselves, and what makes us tick, the easier it becomes to help ourselves when we need it.
So, let’s start by asking yourself: “What resonates with you?” Close your eyes for each of the examples below and picture each in your mind. What resonates best for you?
Sight: a beautiful landscape, a beach scene or sunset, forest scene, night sky.
Sound: soft piano music, birds singing, waves crashing, rain.
Touch: massage, cool breeze against the skin, warm bath or sand in your toes.
Smell: essential oils, flowers, fresh cut grass.
Taste: sweet apple, pineapple, or sour lime.
A wonderful way to start the process of relaxation is to set the mood for it. The mood is important as it creates an atmosphere, where a person can feel free of distractions and safe. And how can we more easily set the mood? One way is to learn which sense is your dominant sense. Since we are all different, no one will be able to tell you, but you can figure it out for yourself.
So, now that you are familiar with the above ideas, ask yourself, which of the senses speaks to YOU most directly? Does soft music calm you? When you close your eyes and envision a beach scene, does it make you smile? Does the smell of peppermint calm your body, or does the feeling of a warm bath sooth your skin and soul?
Maybe it is one of the above, or maybe even a combination of a couple of them. The point is to tap into what you know about yourself. Test out a few, and notice what speaks to you…
When on the path to relaxation, any external stimulus such as music or visualizations are a great place to start. We are all different, so it is time to get to know YOU, and what makes you tick, in order to help you relax and let go.
Pick a sense and your favorite relaxation measure and focus inward. Notice how it makes you feel. Bring a gentle smile to your face, which may help bring a “pleasure” to the experience.
2. Breathe to Relax …
Now that the “mood” is set, the next step is to focus on the breath.
Close your eyes. (This allows you to focus your attention inward, and away from external distractions.) Focus on the breath directly and feel the air as it enters and exits your nose and nostrils. Start by inhaling to a count of about 4, and then exhale, slow and steady, to a count of about 7 or 8.
Every time you exhale longer than the inhale, you are tapping into a part of the nervous system called the parasympathetic nervous system. This is a part of the nervous system that helps calm and relax the body. We call this breathing method, the extended exhale breath. Here again, is a tool that is built into our bodies, that we can use to our advantage.
Now that you understand WHY we breathe like this, start to put it into practice. Notice every time you exhale, that the body can start to release tension on its own. Start to notice the sensations you feel throughout your body. Notice both physical sensations (muscle tension), as well as emotional sensations, (am I feeling sad, tired, happy, etc). Take a moment to accept whatever it is that you are feeling.
Remember that this is all a part of you right now, and it is ok. Be accepting of who you are right now. With every extended exhale, relax the body a little deeper.
To establish relaxation further, or if you are experiencing panic or moderate to severe anxiety, it is helpful to raise the legs above your heart. This movement further taps into the parasympathetic nervous system, and is a great addition to the breath, to further relax the body and mind.
You can raise the legs in any ways shown below. They are all very helpful.
Legs against the wall...
Legs into chest...
"Happy Baby" pose...
3. Release the Shoulders …
The shoulders are the number one place we hold tension in our body, especially for women. The problem with shoulder tension, is that we can be holding onto this tension and not even know it! As you continue to breathe, start to focus directly in on the shoulders to release. With every exhale, feel the shoulders start to release and let go. The more you continue to breathe and focus in on the shoulders, you more you can start to feel the shoulders just melt down your back…
Another way to release the shoulders is to add in some movement. As you inhale, try raising your arms up over your head… then bring your palms together…and as you slowly exhale, bring your hands down towards your heart center, as you focus on the release of the tension in the shoulders. Repeat this a couple of times to start to feel the full effect.
Inhale up...
Exhale slowly hands to heart center...
4. Release the Stomach Muscles ...
Another place we tend to hold tension is in our belly. For those who have “belly anxiety”, you may tend to feel butterflies, get nauseous, or get tummy aches or pain often in the area of the belly when stressed. You may also have gas or seem to have an overactive colon. (Diarrhea).
Releasing the belly muscles is very helpful for those who suffer from belly discomfort when stress and anxiety build.
Take a deep breath in. As you exhale, lengthen out the exhale to count of about seven or eight. This time focus directly on the belly as you slowly release, and feel the muscles start to relax and unwind in the area. Continue to breathe, as you continue to focus on the belly, and feel the muscles gently release…
5. Movement with Breath…
One of my favorite relaxation techniques is to move with the body and breath, which allows a person to really tap deeply into themselves.
Cat/Cow- You can do this while sitting in a chair, or you can take it to the floor, as you see below.
As you inhale, push your belly down towards the mat, (or outward if you are sitting), drop your shoulders down and back, and raise the gaze. As you exhale, draw your belly in towards your spine, tuck the pelvis and bring your nose towards your chest, rounding out the back.
Repeat. Every time you inhale, push the belly outward and raise your head as you drop your shoulders back… then as you exhale, draw the belly in towards the spine, tuck the pelvis, and bring the nose towards the chest, rounding out the back. Move with your breath. Close your eyes and listen to your body. When you feel the need to inhale, inhale in and press the belly out. When you feel the body needs to exhale, exhale as you pull the belly in.
As you move back and forth, tap into your body, and focus in on how good this feels. The amount you stretch is not what matters here, it’s how you feel while moving. Feel the body relax as you move. Feel the breath. You can use this movement, or a similar favorite!
Helpful tips: Close your eyes and smile when you do this movement. Tap into your body. Notice how good it feels to move with your body and breath. Notice how good it feels to be in your own skin. Smiling only enhances the experience!
Cat...
Cow:
6. Easy Stretch…
I have always found stretching to be a great way to relax and open-up the body. When we hold onto tension, we are, and can feel, a tightness or heaviness inside. When we give ourselves the opportunity to stretch, we can open our bodies up, and feel a little lighter. Stretching releases toxins from the body, as well as relaxes the muscles and increases blood flow. It can also reduce soreness and improve stamina.
A nice easy, relaxing stretch is to extend your legs out in front of you. Take a nice deep breath in, and as you exhale out, fold your body down towards your feet. Stop when you JUST start to feel sensation. Breathe and relax your shoulders. Try different, or a combination of stretches that you find soothing and relaxing.
Things to remember…
Be sure to NOT overextend on any stretch. Only come to a point that you feel a slight sensation and hold there. If you extend too much, it defeats the purpose, as your body will tense up.
The point is to relax, so in this case, less is more. Feel your body as it gradually releases the tension. Listen to your body, as it will let you know when you can extend into the stretch a little deeper. Slowly come back up and repeat again. Again, focus on the shoulders as you relax into the stretch. Notice how good it feels to relax while you stretch.
After this hamstring stretch, you will need to release the front of the thigh as a counter stretch. You can easily accomplish this by laying on your back and turn your body and lay on your left side. Then reach back and grab your right foot and push your hips outward, feeling a stretch in the front of the leg. Repeat on the other side.
The beauty of stretching is that you can practically do it anywhere. You can stretch in bed before sleep, or when you wake up. You can stretch on the floor while watching TV, instead of laying on the couch. Let yourself get creative!
Forward Fold...
Hamstring Stretch...
7. Guided Meditation and Mindfulness…
Meditation is one of the best ways to connect the mind with the body. Mindfulness is an expression that pretty much means that you are “being aware”. It is easily attained by focusing in on something and taking the time to enjoy what you are focusing on. This is called being in the “present moment”, the here and now. We can focus in on our breath, or on an object (like ocean waves). This example can help you practice focusing in on something, but also allows you to enjoy a self-guided meditation that is easy to remember what to do.
Beehive: Find a quiet, undistracted place.
Close your eyes. Picture in your mind a large grassy field with one tree standing alone. As you walk closer to the tree, you notice a large beehive hanging from a branch. As you move even closer, you start to notice about 15-20 bees flying around the hive. Take a moment here to notice the sound they make, what they look like, and how they fly around the hive.
Then SLOWLY watch as ONE bee circles the hive then flies away…
Then slowly, one by one, watch each bee circle the hive, then fly away as well.
Notice as each bee leaves, how much quieter it seems to be around the hive.
Repeat this until every bee flies away.
Take your time focusing on each bee. The longer this takes, the more you can relax into the experience.
Once every bee is gone, notice the hive. Notice how quiet and peaceful the hive is. Maybe you start to notice the surroundings of the immediate area, like the tree, or even the grass. Maybe you can even notice the smell of the grass. Maybe you notice the beautiful landscape surrounding. Maybe you notice birds singing in the tree. Maybe you hear crickets in the field. Allow whatever peaceful visions to come up for you in this experience. You can even bring a smile to your face, to enhance the positivity of the experience. Let the experience occur for as long as you can remain focused.
When you are ready, SLOWLY start to wiggle your fingers and toes. Maybe you start to move your head gently from side to side, as you gently float open your eyes, and deepen your breath…
Notice how relaxed you feel.
Things to remember:
· Allow yourself to be open minded.
· Allow yourself to let go and just enjoy the experience without judgment or expectation.
· Allow yourself to relax.
Each time you practice this, notice the differences between the experiences.
What changes for you?
Points to take away from this section:
Put all the steps together to formulate what works for you! Basically, the idea is to:
· Set the mood
· Breathe to initiate relaxation
· Relax areas of the body we hold tension
· Move slowly, gently, and rhythmically to focus deep inside
· Stretch to further relax more muscles in the body
This places you in a relaxed state to fully take advantage of a helpful meditation
In order, here is an example:
1. Tap into your dominant sense...(Turn on some soft music, and listen to it as it relaxes you…)
2. Start the lengthened exhale…(Close your eyes, tap inside, and feel the body as you breathe)
3. Relax the shoulders…(As you breathe, FEEL the shoulders release on the exhale)
4. Relax the belly...(As you breathe, FEEL the belly and hips release on the exhale)
5. Add a movement with breath...(FEEL the body as it moves slowly and gently)
6. Add a stretch and a breath…(Breathe into a stretch. With every exhale, relax your body, which will relax the muscles)
7. Start your guided meditation...(Focus directly on the vision you see inside, as thoughts come in, recognize, and focus back)
You can try these individually, or combine your favorites to create your OWN calming method.
If you enjoy meditations, click here to learn about how you can receive my 21-Days of Morning Meditations to get you on your way each day for 21 days. (Each video is about 3 minutes long).
Learn also how you can receive a personalized audio meditation, created specifically for you, dependent on what your specific needs are.
Chapter Five
Other Helpful Tools
“The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply.” -Denis Waitly
If you are looking for changes within you, there may be some lifestyle changes you may want to consider. The examples below are useful tools to get your mind away from fearful thoughts.
Here are some ways to help you let go of the old unhealthy habits and help bring in new life!
Get involved:
Find a local group to get involved with. Some examples can be: join a reading group, get a job, volunteer at an organization, or take a class. In these times, you need to feel important, (which you are), as well as feel self-confident, (which you have inside, you just must tap into it). Being involved in the community allows you to feel connected to others, which is so important, since we feel so alone when we suffer from anxiety.
Nature walks:
There is nothing more soothing than taking the time to be out in nature. Be sure to get outside for walks and make them a part of your daily routine. When you are out there, inhale in the beauty. If you are near the ocean, be sure you take a walk on the beach! Take time out for your lunch break to visit a nearby park, and enjoy a picnic lunch under a tree. While you are there, listen to the sounds that surround you. Tap into your dominant sense, to help make you feel more relaxed. Maybe you hear the birds or watch a squirrel pass by. Take in the serenity and beauty of all that surrounds you...and be grateful. Nature allows us to feel connected to another world, that is away from the hustle and bustle we are so accustomed to.
Exercise:
Take the time to get in some exercise! This can be energizing and empowering! If you are looking for social experiences, join a gym, or yoga studio. You can also join a martial arts class, or adult sports team. Think of what YOU need. Think about something you have always wanted to do. Maybe investigate horseback riding, or adult dance classes. Or maybe your life is full of social activities, and you need to take time for yourself. Then make it a point to go for a walk, or a jog. Maybe you can take up running. Maybe you should dust off your bike and take a ride! Maybe swimming is your thing. Think about what will give YOU comfort. Tap into the needs of your own body and mind.
Eliminate stimulants: (Caffeine, Smoking, Alcohol, Drugs)
By eliminating stimulants, you are eliminating a HUGE part of anxiety producing material. When you are anxious, and you ADD something to your body that will increase your energy, it can only lead into trouble. You will want to reduce any external stimulation to an already stimulated body. You will be amazed how good your body can feel after you allow yourself to let go of stimulants. Sometimes stimulants are hidden in the foods we eat, so we are not even aware we are ingesting them. Remember coffee and chocolate, and even most teas contain caffeine, which can ramp up the body. Sugar is also another stimulant that can sneak up on us, so be sure to watch the sugar intake. Good substitutes are fresh fruit, and herbal teas.
Smile and Laugh:
Laughter promotes healing! It is a proven fact that laughter really IS the best medicine. Allow yourself to laugh more than a few times during the day. If you do not find opportunities to laugh...create them...OR just fake it! When you force or fake a smile, your body doesn't know the difference between a "real" laugh or a "fake" one, so your body will still get all the great benefits that laughing can do for you! Benefits of laughter include: greater oxygen to the brain, more energy, more motivation, a positive state of mind, relief of stress, and strengthening the immune system.
Foods that can help:
We are what we eat! Knowing how our body is affected by certain foods can make a significant difference in how we feel later. If we overstuff ourselves, we can feel very uncomfortable later, which may spark those sensations that can kick in anxiety. Eating lighter meals more frequently is always a good approach. Reach for the food that can aide in relaxation of the belly, so staying away from spicy, heavy foods, may be helpful. Some great foods to add to your diet are: turkey, salmon, avocados, asparagus, spinach, lettuce, carrots, bananas, apples, wheat germ, peppermint tea, and chamomile tea. As mentioned earlier, replace simple sugars (cupcakes, cookies) with fresh fruit. For those snack attacks, choose healthy nuts and fruit instead of chips and other energy draining materials. Your body will thank you!
Get out that yoga mat:
By placing your yoga mat on the floor, where you can see it, is a great way to tell your brain.."I need to get there". If it stays rolled up in the corner of the room, you may tend to leave it there. With your mat in a convenient place to practice, you tend to get on it more frequently. We do not watch TV much, but if we do, it's at night, and I'll place my yoga mat on the floor to stretch while watching. So, instead of watching TV from the couch, get on the floor and stretch and breathe while you watch. It is a great way to stay mindful, and keep your body moving and relaxing at the same time. This is also a great tool to use before bed, as you can more easily relax the muscles of your body and tap into your nighttime mindset.
External Stimulants:
Eliminate TV shows / movies that are scary, or that may increase your fears. Replace with sit-coms, funny shows, or better yet, turn off the TV altogether! When you are dealing with fears, the last thing you want to do is increase the ability to bring more fears into your life. You have enough on your plate, no reason to add additional factors. You may want to put on some soft, relaxing music, and light a few candles around instead.
Read:
Read a book! Here is a great way to further educate yourself on topics that interest you. You can even pick up a book of crossword puzzles. Maybe even pick up an adult coloring book to color. Again, this gives your mind the ability to focus in on something, which will keep your mind busy. Remember that the mind needs to stay active and busy. Use the mind to your advantage and give it the opportunity to be used in a creative form. When we do not keep our mind active, the mind will create its own activity...like thoughts. Keep your brain active and focused on what you want it to be focused on. Create a list of ideas that you want to do and start to do them.
Part Two
MANAGING STRESS AND ANXIETY
“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” -Ram Dass
The next section is a conglomeration of blogs from my website, itStartsWithYouWellness.com, that I wanted to share with you. They are additional helpful tools that you can use, to help you along the path of managing your stress and anxiety. These tools are also another small part of The Managing Anxiety Program.
· Daily Rituals to Help Manage Anxiety
· Understanding How Food Can Help Manage Anxiety
· Foods for Anxiety
· Herbal Teas
· Saffron Sniffing for Hormonal Anxiety
· Me and My Thoughts
· Why Laughter is So Important
· The Smiling Experiment
Chapter Six
Daily Rituals that Can Help You Manage Your Anxiety
“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” -Beverly Sils
We all know how difficult it can be to set aside time for ourselves when we are so busy. Most of us have so many obligations that can take us so far away from “us”, there is no time to reset. So, what can we do?
We first need to understand that in order for changes to last long term, they have to occur slowly. When we commit too much too quickly, it always seems to end the same way. It will start off GREAT, then after about a month, we go right back to the same old habits, and there we are, left to deal with life in the same matter, which gets us nowhere!
So, here is a plan that can be very helpful for you to start on your way to freedom from anxiety…
Find five minutes every day...
Yes, you heard that correct. Five minutes. You pick where in the day you want to do this. I typically tell people to try taking 5 minutes when you initially wake up or take 5 minutes before you go to bed. This is the BEST place to start.
Here are some morning ideas…
· SMILE_…_Nothing gets a good mood flowing like a good smile. Even if you do not feel like it, fake it, and notice. Smiling, even when you fake it, is a great way to start the positive energy flowing in your body for the day. A smile has been proven to release endorphins into the body, which helps with mood enhancement.
· WAKE UP GRATEFUL… There is nothing that can set your mind in the right frame of mind for the day, then a morning of feeling grateful for life. So, when you wake up, put a smile on your face, and tell yourself that you are grateful for this wonderful day.
· MORNING STRETCH_…_This is something that you can do right there in bed. An example is to sit up, extend the legs out in front of you, then smile as you stretch your arms over your head, and exhale the arms down into a forward fold. Or better yet, place your yoga mat on the floor near your bed, so as you get out of bed, you can just plop down on your mat and do some morning stretches.
· MEDITATE_…_Meditation in the morning, is a great way to release the morning “monkey mind”. I know my mind is always pretty active in the morning, so this has always been quite beneficial for me. Place a smile on your face, (do you see the pattern here?), close your eyes and practice five minutes of just being still. As thoughts come into your mind, accept them, laugh them off, and try again. The idea of smiling is to let your body know that it is ok as thoughts come in. Over time, once you can understand you do not need to be perfect, the body is more apt to relax about it, and you will find thoughts will take longer to enter the mind. Just keep practicing!
Remember that when we sleep, we give our body the chance to reset and heal, so you can understand why it is SO important to get a good night sleep.
Here are a few nighttime ideas…
· EVENING STRETCH… I made this a habit for myself every night. I get into bed, breathe, stretch, and smile, which allows my mind to settle, and let go of the days’ stresses. Notice what a little stretching can do for your body and mind before bed.
· BATH / SHOWER… It’s always very relaxing to take a nice hot shower or warm bath before bed. It soothes the muscles, and releases tension.
· MASSAGE…A massage given by your partner or by using a handheld massager is another great way to loosen up some of the tense muscles. Concentrate on the neck and shoulders, since this is the area that we can hold a majority of that tension, but it also very beneficial to massage the lower back, hands, feet and legs.
NOW EXTEND THIS TO TWICE A DAY… MORNING AND NIGHT
Once you start to understand how just 5 minutes a day can put you in a positive frame of mind, try applying this to both morning and night. You will notice, over time, that your body will start to crave this good feeling, and you will naturally start to increase the time.
NOW LET’S BE MINDFUL 3 TIMES A DAY!
During the day, we can get busy, but we are never too busy to add a few quick reminders for ourselves. Here are some great ideas to try, periodically during the day.
SMILE ...
This is easy, because it can be done ANYWHERE, and takes little effort! And I encourage you to smile AT people, since it will encourage the other person to smile back. Make those connections with people, since you never know, you may just make someone’s day! You can crack a smile in the car, to others at work, or to strangers at the grocery store…anywhere!
BREATHE...
This is another easy one to do since it can be done anywhere. Take a nice deep breath in…and SLOWLY exhale to a 6-7 count. As you exhale, feel the shoulders relax and drop down your back. Repeat anytime you need a reminder to release any extra tension you may have accumulated during the day.
Practice these simple tools enough where they can become a part of your daily routine. Find times of the day you can apply any of the above. (Example: Smile when you get to work. Then take 5 seconds to inhale in a nice deep breath and exhale it out slowly to put a good foot forward on the day. If the day starts to get stressful, remember the breath is there for you. Take the time to breathe and relax the body when you need to.) Find what works best for you, and notice what happens even after only a week! You may start to feel a bit better about yourself and life, by just taking a little bit of extra time for you.
Chapter Seven
Understanding How Food Can Help Manage Anxiety
“The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30-50 years.” -Deepak Chopra
There are many foods listed on the internet that have their merit for being good anxiety relievers. After doing my own research with my own anxiety, I have created a list that has worked the best for me. (and what’s best for me may not be best for you, so be sure to try do your own research!)
So, why are certain foods better for relieving anxiety than others?
1) Foods that release serotonin-
Some foods contain the building blocks of mood enhancing amino acids. When these cross the blood-brain barrier, neurotransmitters, like serotonin, are released into the body, resulting in a calmer you. Most serotonin is found in the digestive system to aide in digestion. The rest, however, is found in the neurons of the central nervous system, which allows the serotonin to help regulate mood, sleep, and appetite.
So what are these amino acids, and which foods contain them?
Tryptophan- Lets focus on the simplest amino acid to recognize, tryptophan. Most of us are aware of this amino acid since it is the one responsible for us getting tired after a Thanksgiving feast. Being an essential amino acid, means that our body can’t naturally produce it, so we need to find it in our food.
So, we can just create a list of those foods containing tryptophan, consume them, and we are good to go, right?
Not exactly. You see, even though tryptophan is an amino acid needed to support the release of serotonin, it does not work alone. In order for serotonin to be released in the brain, the tryptophan needs to cross the blood-brain barrier. Unfortunately, there is a vigorous competition on which amino acids will cross over, and tryptophan can fall to the wayside if there are higher levels of other amino acids in the blood. BUT, when you consume carbohydrates with tryptophan, insulin is released. Insulin draws amino acids into the cells, and away from the blood-brain barrier. This allows the tryptophan to gain momentum and results in lower competition at the blood-brain barrier, which may cause higher levels of serotonin to be released into your body. Foods containing tryptophan are: turkey, milk, eggs, cheese, pineapples, asparagus, salmon, and nuts / seeds.
So, which carbs are the best to release insulin for tryptophan success?
Complex Carbohydrates- For better overall health, choosing the slower releasing carbs, complex carbohydrates, are the best way to go. Foods such as oats, brown rice, lentils, beans, and sweet potatoes allows for less of a sugar spike, which should result in a longer lasting effect of the serotonin, once released in the body.
2) Understanding Cortisol-
There are foods that can help combat high levels of cortisol, which can be elevated when stress and anxiety build up in the body. Prolonged increase of cortisol levels can result in not only anxiety, but adrenal fatigue as well.
What is cortisol?
Cortisol is a steroid hormone called a glucocorticoid, which is produced in the adrenal glands, found on top of each kidney. Cortisol is released during times such as stress, exercise, and when there is a “danger” afoot. When there are high levels of cortisol in the body, and the brain thinks there is a “danger”, it can link up with epinephrine to release the “fight or flight” mechanism. This allows for a sudden burst of energy, or “panic mode” to help a person if they needed to run away faster, or to provide an increase of strength. With those who suffer anxiety and panic attacks, the brain can be fooled to think there is a “danger”, based on a fear, and the body kicks in this burst of energy. The brain thinks it is helping the body, but, for those of us who have experienced this, it is far from a good feeling.
Foods that are high in vitamin C, omega-3’s, and zinc, can help lower cortisol levels. Foods high in vitamin C are: citrus fruits, kale, and spinach. Those high in omega-3’s are salmon, avocados and walnuts. Other cortisol fighters are: oysters, beans, and basil.
3) Nutrients you may be deficient in-
Let’s face it. Stress can deplete your body of important nutrients, and we can end up becoming deficient in some, therefore, enhancing anxiety. Here are some of the key nutrients we should try to keep in our daily diet to avoid worsening anxiety.
· B-vitamins (green leafy vegetables)
· Calcium (dairy, kale)
· Vitamin C (citrus fruits, kale, broccoli)
· Magnesium (dark leafy greens, nuts, fish, beans)
· Tryptophan (turkey, milk, asparagus)
· Vitamin D (dairy, sun exposure)
· Folic Acid (wheat germ, lentils, dark green vegetables, citrus fruits)
· Water
If you notice with the above list, increasing the amount of green leafy vegetables, like spinach and kale, citrus fruits and dairy should help increase the nutrients you may be lacking. Help replenish your body with healthy whole foods, and try to stay away from processed foods, since the additives and preservatives can further keep the body down.
Stay healthy and get healthier from the inside out.
Chapter Eight
Foods for Anxiety
“What we achieve inwardly, will change our outer reality.” -Plutarc
So, let’s discuss more specifically which foods can help and why. Using my own research, I have kept certain foods in my daily diet to help keep anxiety at bay. Here are my picks for best anxiety relieving foods, followed up with some healthy meal ideas!
Healthy meal ideas:
Breakfast:
-Bananas contain tryptophan. When ingested, and tryptophan is mixed with a carb, like plain oatmeal, it allows the tryptophan to be carried through the brain to activate into 5-HTP, which then converts to serotonin, which is the neurotransmitter that relaxes the body.
This is a great breakfast to have if you have an upcoming stressful day ahead. Add in some orange juice to get in the vitamin C to help decrease additional cortisol.
-Greens are filled with B-vitamins and, especially for Kale, chocked filled with Vitamin C which can help reduce cortisol levels. Eggs also contain tryptophan, so by adding a side of homemade granola you can bring on the serotonin. This breakfast can help keep you and your belly calm at the start of your day.
Lunch:
1) Salmon with spinach. Salmon contains a good amount of omega-3’s. The spinach is chock full of B vitamins, and it is soothing to the belly.
2) Spinach salad with hard-boiled egg. Eggs also contain tryptophan, so adding a portion of beans, (carb), may help increase serotonin release.
Dinner:
1) Turkey with sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes are a good carb to provide additional serotonin release. If you add asparagus to the meal, which provides a good amount of folic acid, it can have an additional soothing effect.
2) Lettuce wraps. You can fill your lettuce with chicken, turkey, or even your favorite beans. Add a portion of brown rice and seasonings, or a dab of your favorite dressing. You can add broccoli or spinach to provide additional Vitamin-B. Sprinkle with wheat germ for added folic acid bonus.
Always remember when starting changes in your diet, you also need to be aware of what you need to stay away from. Remember that any stimulants can only add to your anxiety. Staying away from anything with caffeine is the best place to start. (ie. coffee, chocolate, energy drinks).
Ingesting too much sugar can also influence your anxiety, so try to keep the amount in check as well. Read the labels on everything you buy and stay clear from items that contain High Fructose Corn Syrup. HFCS is a chemically processed sugar that can raise sugar levels within the body. Companies that produce this product seem to change its name frequently in order to fool consumers, so staying tuned with everything you consume.
Stay away from processed foods as much as you can and eat more whole foods. This is a great way to stay on top of what enters your body. Cooking your own meals, instead of consuming processed meals, or restaurant meals are sometimes difficult to do, due to time constraints, but is ultimately the best way to go for your overall health. Try to set aside more time to cook meals, or select a day of cooking for the week, or freeze what you can.
Remember that it takes a conscious effort on your part, to be successful. Be conscious of what foods you are consuming. If you eat a good portion of broccoli, but then follow it up with a bag of chips or cookies, you are defeating the purpose. But diet changes are difficult, so remember to be patient with yourself. It is also important to remain positive and not get frustrated or down on yourself when challenges occur, because they will. And it is OK. Use these foods as building blocks, or steppingstones, instead of a reason for defeat.
Remember when you are actively thinking about your anxiety, you are giving anxiety more fuel. Keep focused and busy to keep your mind off the negative thoughts that can trigger anxiety. Going for walks, and finding a craft, are great examples of ways to keep yourself busy. When you start to understand that anxiety does not have any fuel when you are focused and busy, you realize things that focusing on anxiety really is not that important, and the natural changes will begin.
Introduce healthy habits into your life. Eating properly, taking time for yourself, staying active, exercising, smiling, and learning how to enjoy life are great tools for managing anxiety.
For more nutritional information and ways that foods can help improve relaxation and digestion, see the Nutritional Health section of the app!
Chapter Nine
Herbal Teas
“If you are cold, it will warm you; if you are too heated, it will cool you; if you are depressed, it will cheer you, if you are excited, it will calm you.” -William Ewart Gladstone
The great thing about herbal teas, is that they do not contain caffeine, and for those suffering from anxiety, they are a great alternative to coffee, if looking for a warm drink. For thousands of years, herbs have been widely used to help relieve symptoms of many different ailments. After doing much research about this, I started trying different herbs to help alleviate my own anxiety, as I figured, nothing can go wrong with a plant. But, unfortunately, after trying quite a few remedies, I had noticed something. They can have side effects.
So, just as your favorite medicine may carry a list of side effects, herbs may have them as well. Since I have developed a sensitive digestive system over the years, I have become quite hesitant with herbs. But I have found three specific herbs, for tea, that have helped me calm some anxiety symptoms, and not carry side effects for me. They are:
1. CHAMOMILE TEA –
Chamomile Tea holds a strong number one spot for me, since it contains a relaxant that soothes and calms the body. It has proven to not only calm the nerves but can calm the lining of the stomach as well. (This is especially helpful for those with “belly anxiety”, as I had.) I love to periodically have a nice cup of tea a couple of hours before bed to relax.
(Precaution: if you take blood thinners, please speak to your doctor before consuming this tea, since it can thin the blood if you consume too much. Side effects may be nausea and vomiting, but only with high concentrations. Chamomile tea is also a diuretic, so you may find your way to the bathroom more frequently overnight. When I drink this tea, I will be sure to consume it at least a couple hours before bed, to avoid having to get up later.)
2. PEPPERMINT TEA-
Peppermint tea is a staple in my house. It is soothing to the belly, especially after a large meal. It can help aide in digestion, reduce belly aches, and is supportive for irritable bowel sufferers. For me, my anxiety sometimes would start in my belly. Therefore, relaxing the belly has helped keep the more severe anxiety at bay, and a happy belly is a happy body.
(Precaution: for those with acid reflux, this tea may relax the valve by the stomach which may increase acid reflux. It may also interact with some medications, so it is advised to check with your doctor first before using this tea, especially if you are pregnant.)
3. GINGER TEA-
Another of my favorite teas is ginger tea. It is a great anti-inflammatory and aide for tummy issues. It has a true “spice” taste and is responsible for easing motion sickness. It also is helpful in improving digestion. I have found this excellent in helping relax my belly, but we are all different, so be careful.
(Precaution: the only side effects seen with ginger tea are mild. Some people have reported heartburn, others diarrhea and stomach discomfort. If you have stomach ailments, it may just be a good idea to only steep for a short period of time when you first try, then slowly let it steep longer, if you have no issues with it.)
Please note that with these choices in teas, I only ingest the teas with a single ingredient. I have personally found a side effect or two with the multi-ingredient teas. Mixing the herbs together may be helpful, but it can also be confusing if you react to something, and you cannot be sure which ingredient was responsible. Ergo, finding an ingredient that helps you best, may be the easiest way to go. Also, multi-ingredient teas may sneak in an alternate ingredient that may contain caffeine, so be sure to check the label. Therefore, I have always stuck to buying only one ingredient Organic Chamomile tea, Organic Ginger, and Organic Peppermint Tea. This has worked very well for me, and depending on my need for the day, I will choose which tea appropriately. If I am having more belly issues, I choose the Peppermint or Ginger, and if I am looking for more overall calm, I choose the Chamomile.
Other teas to consider:
Now just because I have sensitivities to other teas, does not mean you will. Remember that we are all different! So, here are a couple of other teas you may want to consider.
- ROOIBOS TEA (for insomnia, reducing anxiety, indigestion aide)
This is another great tea to try for yourself. For me, since I have a sensitive belly, this tea was not great for me, but I understand that it can help with insomnia, as it has a sedative effect. The problem is that it also may cause stomach upset, and for that alone, I don’t use it. It has been known to help reduce anxiety, promote sleep, and aide with indigestion. (Of course, I can get any and all effects with my two favorites, with no worry.) This herbal tea also has a history of helping with headaches, insomnia, and hypertension.
Rooibos is typically found in combination teas. (More than one ingredient.) Just please talk to your doctor before consuming this tea, especially if you have any liver or kidney issues, since it has been linked to liver and kidney toxicity. It also can show estrogen like activity. Those undergoing cancer treatments or have a hormone related cancer, like breast cancer, need to speak to their doctor before consuming, as it can also interact with certain medications.
-PASSIONFLOWER TEA (for anxiety, insomnia)
Due to its ability to help reduce anxiety symptoms and insomnia, it remains on the list of teas to try. Side effects that have been seen are: dizziness, nausea and involuntary muscle contractions. Please speak to your doctor before consuming this tea if you are taking blood thinners, drink alcohol, or are on blood pressure medication as it can interact. Due to the possible muscle contracting affect, it is also advised that pregnant women should stay clear, even if you are breastfeeding.
-LEMON BALM TEA (anxiety, insomnia, indigestion)
As with the above, Lemon Balm can have a sedative effect to help calm the body. The side effects of Lemon Balm may be: nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, and dizziness. The good news about Lemon Balm is that it does not seem to interact with medications as Passionflower and Rooibos may. It also can be found as a “one ingredient tea”. So, if you find this herb agrees with you, it can be another good choice. Just note that it is always a good idea to check with your doctor to be sure, especially if you are pregnant.
Chapter 10
Sniffing Saffron for Hormonal Anxiety and PMS…
Most women have had some sort of Premenstrual Syndrome symptoms, (PMS), at some point in their life. PMS can consist of cramping, mood swings, fatigue, gastrointestinal issues, along with other symptoms like acne, insomnia, water retention, and of course, anxiety. When our hormones are out of balance, the variation of hormones can cause responses such as anxiety, as the body adjusts. For those who seem to feel anxious around a certain time of the month, before a cycle, may have hormonal anxiety.
Hormonal anxiety is a bit more difficult to deal with since it is based on bodily functions rather than an emotional response. This basically means that it is more difficult to deal with, and harder to calm the body down with typical mindfulness methods and tools.
Enter the spice saffron. Saffron is a spice that is derived from the flower known as “saffron crocus”. It is the most expensive spice out there since it takes about 70,000 crocus flowers to produce just one pound of dried saffron. It may be expensive, but the good news is that you only would have to buy it once, since the only thing you do with it is sniff the contents!
A double-blind study out of Iran was once performed, testing the theory of saffron and PMS. The original study had the subjects ingest 30 mg/day of the saffron, and the results showed a significant decrease in symptoms between the patients who ingested the saffron from the ones who did not. It was later determined, by the same individuals, that sniffing saffron alone, can have the same results. Later, the study determined that the smell alone was enough to trigger a hormonal response, causing changes within the body. So, they extended this study to have the subjects sniff saffron for 20 minutes.
Apparently, by sniffing saffron, it can help balance out hormone levels, and by doing so, can decrease anxiety symptoms.
I gave this a try about a year ago, and for me, who has suffered crazy anxiety two days, like clockwork, before my cycle every month, I had noticed a significant difference. Unlike the study, I would just take a few good sniffs out of the jar, so not the 20 minutes as recorded, yet still noticed my body start to calm after about 10 minutes or so. Is it the perfect remedy? Not really, since it seems that the relief is temporary. Maybe it would help me more, if I sat there with the bottle under my nose for 20 minutes for longer lasting effects. BUT, what I do recognize is that if I sniff the saffron for one months’ cycle, the next months’ symptoms aren’t as bad. And there have been months that I have gone without needing to sniff at all. Coincidence? Is it really the saffron, my body just being normal that month, or is it a psychosomatic response? Either way, it seems to work, it is much cheaper than other remedies, and carries no side effects. It is also a way of not putting harmful substances into the body. So, for me, when I am near my cycle, and start to feel a little tense and anxious, and my typical mindfulness techniques are not working as well as they should, I will assume it’s my hormones. I will sniff some saffron and keep it close by for a couple of days as symptoms arise. The beauty is that the saffron sniffing can alleviate other PMS symptoms along with anxiety.
So, if you suffer from hormonal anxiety, or anxiety related to PMS, saffron sniffing may be something to try. It seems to work for me, which is my reasoning for bringing this forth to you, but you be the judge. For the small amount of money, and the relief and/or piece of mind you can get, it is well worth the experiment!
One spice container of saffron costs between $12 and $18, but I have seen it online for around $9.00. Shop around but remember that you only must purchase this once!
Chapter Eleven
Me and My Thoughts
“Remember thoughts are only thoughts. You can choose to believe them or to not believe them. You can choose to change your perspective. You decide what you give power to. Choose thoughts that are helpful rather than harmful.” -Akiroq Brost
So, it has been said that our mind can create up to 60,000 thoughts in a day. It may be hard to believe, but thoughts come and go all day long. A lot of them just come and go since they are not important, but there are some that we pay more attention to. And it is these attention-grabbing thoughts that can create us joy...or even sadness. We choose which thoughts we are going to give attention to. Think about that for a moment. We CHOOSE the thoughts we are going to pay attention to.
To explain, let us say we are driving, and we see a boy cross the road. A thought may enter your mind about the way he is dressed, and think “that boy is dressed sloppy”, but you let it go and continue driving, because as quickly the thought came in, it was more important to focus on the song that just came on the radio. But the car behind you may look at the boy and say, “that boy is dressed sloppy”, followed by “why do kids dress so sloppy these days”, which can lead into “why does my nephew dress like that anyway”, which can lead into “why is he such a deadbeat, and why can’t he just smarten up”. This can lead into a domino effect of thoughts that can create us stress if we allow them to. I will say again IF WE ALLOW THEM TO. Two cars, same boy. One driver lets it go, while the other allows stress to build, because that person decided to give the thought attention. If you give a thought attention, the mind has been given permission to run with it.
Think about how many times one thought turned into stress for you. The answer may be “too many to count”. And that is NOT a bad answer, because we ALL do it! You are NOT alone. So, what can we do?
Well, just by knowing this, we can give ourselves additional power against our thoughts! Just KNOWING the fact thoughts can create more thoughts, allows us to be more conscious when we do our thinking. When we KNOW a certain thought or situation can cause us stress, we can put the brakes on right there and say to ourselves, “this can lead me into stress and anxiety, so I need to let this go!” Then purposely put a smile on your face and think of something funny someone said or put a positive thought in your mind. It is what I call a “positive thought bank”. A bunch of thoughts you can redirect to, as you need. So, if a negative thought starts to enter, you can switch gears to the positive thought, and boom. You can free yourself from the domino effect.
Now, this MAY take some time to get used to, especially, if a particular type of thought, or “trigger thought”, has a hold on you. Remember that you gave that thought importance, so the mind had permission to run with it. Remember that you are NOT your thoughts, and they do not define you. The only time a thought can define you is when you react to them.
I was very proud of my son the other day. We were watching “The Angry Birds Movie”, and there was a scene where Red Bird comes across a welcoming sign with an annoying looking bird on it. Red Bird stares at it for a while, then immediately gets angry and throws himself at the sign and rips it apart. In Red Birds mind, the sign was mocking him and laughing at him. The longer he looked at the sign, the more thoughts created anger inside him, which ultimately led to him ripping the sign apart. My son just looked at me, laughed and said, “All of that could have been avoided, if he just walked away”. Absolutely! If you attach yourself to a thought, in this case, a thought that said, “that sign is mocking you”, it can lead to more thoughts, which may not even be true, that can ultimately lead you into a reaction that you may regret.
Remember that thoughts are ok, unless they give you stress, and can push you towards a negative reaction. If you start to get worked up about a particular thought, it may be time to back off, and think “happy thoughts”, so to speak. The more you know yourself and how your own thought process works, the easier it may be to help you alleviate your own stress and anxiety…
Chapter Twelve
Laughter and Why It is So Important
“If you can’t make it better, you can always laugh at it.” Erma Bombeck
So, a couple of years ago, I came across a yoga class called “Laughter Yoga”. The name alone intrigued me, and I knew at some point, I had to check it out. My first thought was “what is THIS?” I mean, with all the different styles of yoga out there today, I have to say it had me curious, to say the least.
But like everything else, and for so many, it took me some time to get there. It was offered only once a month, so limited times were available. Of course, something would always come up restricting me from attending the class each month. So, at one point, I made it a priority. I put it on my calendar, told myself I would go, and made sure I would attend at all costs. And now, I’m reaping the benefits, and so relieved I got myself there.
It’s been noted that laughter is a great “cure” for many issues. Stress, for one, is one of the most prevalent issues damaging our bodies these days. Allowing oneself a good belly laugh increases endorphins, and helps aid in muscle relaxation. That is just a couple of the many great benefits laughing can create.
So how does it work? Well, when you get into a good belly laugh, a great amount of oxygen gets into the system, much like yogic breathing, that stimulates and awakens the heart, lungs and surrounding muscles. At first, the body gets stimulated, and raises heart rate and blood pressure, but then as endorphins are released, the body immediately comes back to rest, sending a great relaxed feeling running through your entire body.
For someone like me, with a history of anxiety, the idea of an “energetic” class made me a bit nervous. Certain styles of yogic breathing have been known to increase my anxiety. The kapalabhati breath, for example, is where you intentionally pulse the belly to get that inner fire erupted, increasing heart rate and blood pressure that many use to “get out” stress. (This particular breath, actually increased my anxiety.) But knowing that we “fake it till you make it” with the Laughter Yoga, sounded a bit like that idea, but the effects were definitely different. It doesn’t bring you up and keep you up OR bring on anxiety. You see, when in a laugh, the body is focused on the laugh and feeling good. Since the mind cannot do two things at once, you really can’t be anxious while you’re laughing. It’s been said that you can’t “get anxious” when concentrating on the breath either, like in kapalabhati, but those of us who have anxiety know that it can, and in fact, does happen. Laugher is natural, not forced, and even though we sort of “force” the laughter at first, the real laughter takes over and the natural effects of the body take over.
Another wonderful quality of the Laughter Yoga is, unlike traditional yoga where the focus is on the individual, you connect together with the people in the room. We laugh together working with each others’ energy, which is very soothing and safe. But the true gift, is the feeling that we are doing this all together. We are experiencing together, and we are safe together. So, there is no fear, there is only comfort. It was an overall feeling of community, love, and understanding of one another.
The best piece of this experience was what I learned about myself. There was a section of the practice where we were guided to drape our arms down towards the floor and cry it out. (Not real crying, just acting out the tears and movement.) We were instructed to then bring our arms up over our heads and turn those tears into laughter and laugh it out. What threw me was when we were down in the crying part, with arms draped, I felt comfy. This was my comfy spot, my go-to place, my place of solace. I also found it difficult to turn those “tears” into laughter as we raised our arms up. Hmmmmm… This was a HUGE eye opener for me, for it was at that moment I realized I used to enjoy my sorrow. When things go wrong, I would turn to the negative instead of the positive. Ergo, I need to laugh more, and I need to smile more. I need to take life a bit less serious. While in that downward crying section, I saw my kids. I saw my husband. I saw any friend I had in the past that I became friends with “because they made me laugh”. Wow. It was such an amazing “a-ha” moment, and a great lesson to learn. I needed to allow more laughter in my life. Just, in general, to be happier. Period. End of story.
When I left the class, I felt calm. I was relaxed, and I felt safe. I felt connected with the people I was in the room with, and the world felt a little smaller and a bit warmer to me. To top the night off, I had a great nights’ sleep.
Laughing is therapeutic, it is fun, and especially when we are stressed, it is necessary for overall well-being. It helps keep us positive and brings us the warm gushy feelings inside that we all deserve.
Here are a few of the benefits of laughing:
· Reduces stress, anxiety, and depression
· Improves interpersonal relationships and connects people
· Diffuses negative thoughts and feelings
· Increases oxygen to the brain
· Enhances weight reduction
· Reduces blood pressure and heart rate
· Promotes better sleep
· Releases endorphins
· Reduces pain and symptoms of chronic illness
· Improves digestion, and absorption of food
So grab your friends, grab your family and get giggling!
Becoming a Laughter Yoga Leader has allowed me to incorporate a lot of these methodologies into my yoga classes. For reducing anxiety, make a list of what makes you laugh. This can be a favorite show or movie, a friend, or friends you can call or hang out with, or a recording of a favorite comedian you enjoy, etc. When any of these are not available, remember that you can just fake a laugh. It sounds ridiculous, but the benefits outweigh doing nothing. To learn more, find a Laughter Yoga class in your area. The point is to create situations in your life that will allow you to let loose and laugh on a daily basis. A daily dose of laughter can reduce stress, anxiety and depression. Your brain simply cannot be depressed or anxious when you are laughing, and over time, you can see results in yourself. As you start to feel tension, breathe, relax your body, and smile. This alone may help you. Allow yourself to feel the positive effects of a smile. Then let that smile turn into laughter…
Chapter Thirteen
The Smiling Experiment
“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness” -William Arthur Ward
In the previous section, I discussed how my first Laughter Yoga experience taught me a great lesson I needed to learn about myself. The exercise that enhanced my awareness, was draping our arms down towards the ground as we basically cried it out. This was to eventually have us lift our arms up over our heads to let out laughter. The problem was, I felt so comfortable down in that crying out place, I did not WANT to bring my arms up over my head to laugh. I wanted to stay down there and continue to pretend to cry. It felt comfy, and it was actually work for me to lift my arms up.
This exercise taught me how comfortable I was in that place. This was a place of sadness, self-pity, and regret. It seemed that I enjoyed being in a place that kept me sad, because it was what I knew. It is like my body was protecting itself, keeping it miserable, since it did not know or really understand the other side.
I understand that I may have created this “habit” of misery within myself at some point in my life. Somewhere down the line, I must have kicked in the self-pity and sadness about my life and stuck with it. The feeling was so strong that even though I thought I was happy, deep inside, I really was not.
Since, you cannot change what you do not know about yourself, it was upon this moment of realization, I decided I wanted to make myself a better person. I decided that I did not WANT to be comfortable in misery. I REALLY wanted to be happy. So, if I want to be happier, how do I make this change? What could I do to help make myself feel warm and fuzzy inside?
For me, I continued taking the Laughter Yoga classes. Through these classes, I developed a clearer understanding about myself and what made me happy. And basically, I learned that it all comes from ME. (Something that we hear about a lot, but it really sunk in here.) All my reactions, my thoughts, my actions, and the way my life is being led, all comes from me. What else did I learn from Laughter Yoga? I learned that even when we fake a smile and laugh, we can release endorphins into the body. I also know from teaching mindfulness, that when we allow negative thoughts into our mind, we can end up down a rabbit hole of negativity.
So, after a while of going back and forth with this, it was then, I decided to do this little experiment on myself…
I knew that whatever I did, I wanted to take it slow, since anytime you change something too fast, it would never stick. So, I decided to start off easy, with just daily smiles. I knew from the class that just a smile can allow for positive changes inside the body. So, I made it a point to smile, or rather, fake a smile, five times a day. Since it did not matter where I did this, but I also wanted to be sure I was going to be consistent, so I chose to smile at a memorable place.
I chose every stoplight while I was driving. I figure, I was in the car every day anyway, so it would make sense that this was a good place to start, so why not? So, every time I stopped at a stoplight, I would crack a smile and hold it until the light changed. It felt funny and weird at first, but I knew it had to be beneficial in some way, so I continued on.
I am not exactly sure how long the process took, but it seemed to gradually have a real positive effect on me. Not only did it become easier and easier to find that smile at each stoplight, it stopped being so “weird” and started to feel more natural.
After I started feeling comfortable with this, I decided to branch out and test this on the public, so I started at the grocery store. I made it a point to start smiling at people as they walked by. An interesting phenomenon occurred. People smiled back! Imaging that! By smiling at others, it seemed to develop an instant connection between me and the person in front of me, even when I did not know them. And let me tell you, it felt pretty good inside. REALLY good inside! There were moments it seemed that my smile actually made someone’s day. This is when the experiment took off!
I then branched off the experiment to a larger level, where at every public place I would go to, I would just have a smile on my face, just to notice what would happen. Sure enough, without saying a word, people seemed to just be drawn to me to say “hello”, or “good morning”.
It may sound crazy, but during the time of this experiment, my feeling of other people had become more and more positive. I always felt that people were judgmental and never want to be bothered, but this changed that for me.
So, what is so wonderful about all this, is that I do not even have to force a smile anymore. My body just naturally does it. I laugh to myself when my husband walks by me only and will ask me what I am smiling about. I will be in the grocery store, and people will say “hello” to me, probably because I have a welcoming smile on my face. It seems when you really open yourself up to others, they WILL respond. I do not have to force a smile on my face anymore, because its already there. And at stoplights, my body just naturally smiles now.
I feel happier since I have done this, and it’s amazing the connections with others I have developed. I feel more outgoing and self-confident inside. I even see people a little differently now, and I like what I see in others. (Mostly..LOL) My students and friends are more open, and I have much more patience and tolerance with even the difficult people in my life. Placing the emphasis on the positive instead of the negative, has eliminated a lot of the negativity from my own life. I am much happier and look forward to helping others find their own inner happiness and use these tools in my classes.
So, give it a try. Give yourself a month or so of forcing a smile various times during the day and notice. Notice how the feeling of just turning up the muscles on the sides of your mouth can change you. It can bring on new forms of gratitude and love of self. It can bring on a sense of community with others, which makes us feel a part of something bigger, instead of feeling so alone.
Go out and smile and enjoy your beautiful day!!
Other Helpful Tools
“The results you achieve will be in direct proportion to the effort you apply.” -Denis Waitly
If you are looking for changes within you, there may be some lifestyle changes you may want to consider. The examples below are useful tools to get your mind away from fearful thoughts.
Here are some ways to help you let go of the old unhealthy habits and help bring in new life!
Get involved:
Find a local group to get involved with. Some examples can be: join a reading group, get a job, volunteer at an organization, or take a class. In these times, you need to feel important, (which you are), as well as feel self-confident, (which you have inside, you just must tap into it). Being involved in the community allows you to feel connected to others, which is so important, since we feel so alone when we suffer from anxiety.
Nature walks:
There is nothing more soothing than taking the time to be out in nature. Be sure to get outside for walks and make them a part of your daily routine. When you are out there, inhale in the beauty. If you are near the ocean, be sure you take a walk on the beach! Take time out for your lunch break to visit a nearby park, and enjoy a picnic lunch under a tree. While you are there, listen to the sounds that surround you. Tap into your dominant sense, to help make you feel more relaxed. Maybe you hear the birds or watch a squirrel pass by. Take in the serenity and beauty of all that surrounds you...and be grateful. Nature allows us to feel connected to another world, that is away from the hustle and bustle we are so accustomed to.
Exercise:
Take the time to get in some exercise! This can be energizing and empowering! If you are looking for social experiences, join a gym, or yoga studio. You can also join a martial arts class, or adult sports team. Think of what YOU need. Think about something you have always wanted to do. Maybe investigate horseback riding, or adult dance classes. Or maybe your life is full of social activities, and you need to take time for yourself. Then make it a point to go for a walk, or a jog. Maybe you can take up running. Maybe you should dust off your bike and take a ride! Maybe swimming is your thing. Think about what will give YOU comfort. Tap into the needs of your own body and mind.
Eliminate stimulants: (Caffeine, Smoking, Alcohol, Drugs)
By eliminating stimulants, you are eliminating a HUGE part of anxiety producing material. When you are anxious, and you ADD something to your body that will increase your energy, it can only lead into trouble. You will want to reduce any external stimulation to an already stimulated body. You will be amazed how good your body can feel after you allow yourself to let go of stimulants. Sometimes stimulants are hidden in the foods we eat, so we are not even aware we are ingesting them. Remember coffee and chocolate, and even most teas contain caffeine, which can ramp up the body. Sugar is also another stimulant that can sneak up on us, so be sure to watch the sugar intake. Good substitutes are fresh fruit, and herbal teas.
Smile and Laugh:
Laughter promotes healing! It is a proven fact that laughter really IS the best medicine. Allow yourself to laugh more than a few times during the day. If you do not find opportunities to laugh...create them...OR just fake it! When you force or fake a smile, your body doesn't know the difference between a "real" laugh or a "fake" one, so your body will still get all the great benefits that laughing can do for you! Benefits of laughter include: greater oxygen to the brain, more energy, more motivation, a positive state of mind, relief of stress, and strengthening the immune system.
Foods that can help:
We are what we eat! Knowing how our body is affected by certain foods can make a significant difference in how we feel later. If we overstuff ourselves, we can feel very uncomfortable later, which may spark those sensations that can kick in anxiety. Eating lighter meals more frequently is always a good approach. Reach for the food that can aide in relaxation of the belly, so staying away from spicy, heavy foods, may be helpful. Some great foods to add to your diet are: turkey, salmon, avocados, asparagus, spinach, lettuce, carrots, bananas, apples, wheat germ, peppermint tea, and chamomile tea. As mentioned earlier, replace simple sugars (cupcakes, cookies) with fresh fruit. For those snack attacks, choose healthy nuts and fruit instead of chips and other energy draining materials. Your body will thank you!
Get out that yoga mat:
By placing your yoga mat on the floor, where you can see it, is a great way to tell your brain.."I need to get there". If it stays rolled up in the corner of the room, you may tend to leave it there. With your mat in a convenient place to practice, you tend to get on it more frequently. We do not watch TV much, but if we do, it's at night, and I'll place my yoga mat on the floor to stretch while watching. So, instead of watching TV from the couch, get on the floor and stretch and breathe while you watch. It is a great way to stay mindful, and keep your body moving and relaxing at the same time. This is also a great tool to use before bed, as you can more easily relax the muscles of your body and tap into your nighttime mindset.
External Stimulants:
Eliminate TV shows / movies that are scary, or that may increase your fears. Replace with sit-coms, funny shows, or better yet, turn off the TV altogether! When you are dealing with fears, the last thing you want to do is increase the ability to bring more fears into your life. You have enough on your plate, no reason to add additional factors. You may want to put on some soft, relaxing music, and light a few candles around instead.
Read:
Read a book! Here is a great way to further educate yourself on topics that interest you. You can even pick up a book of crossword puzzles. Maybe even pick up an adult coloring book to color. Again, this gives your mind the ability to focus in on something, which will keep your mind busy. Remember that the mind needs to stay active and busy. Use the mind to your advantage and give it the opportunity to be used in a creative form. When we do not keep our mind active, the mind will create its own activity...like thoughts. Keep your brain active and focused on what you want it to be focused on. Create a list of ideas that you want to do and start to do them.
Part Two
MANAGING STRESS AND ANXIETY
“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” -Ram Dass
The next section is a conglomeration of blogs from my website, itStartsWithYouWellness.com, that I wanted to share with you. They are additional helpful tools that you can use, to help you along the path of managing your stress and anxiety. These tools are also another small part of The Managing Anxiety Program.
· Daily Rituals to Help Manage Anxiety
· Understanding How Food Can Help Manage Anxiety
· Foods for Anxiety
· Herbal Teas
· Saffron Sniffing for Hormonal Anxiety
· Me and My Thoughts
· Why Laughter is So Important
· The Smiling Experiment
Chapter Six
Daily Rituals that Can Help You Manage Your Anxiety
“You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.” -Beverly Sils
We all know how difficult it can be to set aside time for ourselves when we are so busy. Most of us have so many obligations that can take us so far away from “us”, there is no time to reset. So, what can we do?
We first need to understand that in order for changes to last long term, they have to occur slowly. When we commit too much too quickly, it always seems to end the same way. It will start off GREAT, then after about a month, we go right back to the same old habits, and there we are, left to deal with life in the same matter, which gets us nowhere!
So, here is a plan that can be very helpful for you to start on your way to freedom from anxiety…
Find five minutes every day...
Yes, you heard that correct. Five minutes. You pick where in the day you want to do this. I typically tell people to try taking 5 minutes when you initially wake up or take 5 minutes before you go to bed. This is the BEST place to start.
Here are some morning ideas…
· SMILE_…_Nothing gets a good mood flowing like a good smile. Even if you do not feel like it, fake it, and notice. Smiling, even when you fake it, is a great way to start the positive energy flowing in your body for the day. A smile has been proven to release endorphins into the body, which helps with mood enhancement.
· WAKE UP GRATEFUL… There is nothing that can set your mind in the right frame of mind for the day, then a morning of feeling grateful for life. So, when you wake up, put a smile on your face, and tell yourself that you are grateful for this wonderful day.
· MORNING STRETCH_…_This is something that you can do right there in bed. An example is to sit up, extend the legs out in front of you, then smile as you stretch your arms over your head, and exhale the arms down into a forward fold. Or better yet, place your yoga mat on the floor near your bed, so as you get out of bed, you can just plop down on your mat and do some morning stretches.
· MEDITATE_…_Meditation in the morning, is a great way to release the morning “monkey mind”. I know my mind is always pretty active in the morning, so this has always been quite beneficial for me. Place a smile on your face, (do you see the pattern here?), close your eyes and practice five minutes of just being still. As thoughts come into your mind, accept them, laugh them off, and try again. The idea of smiling is to let your body know that it is ok as thoughts come in. Over time, once you can understand you do not need to be perfect, the body is more apt to relax about it, and you will find thoughts will take longer to enter the mind. Just keep practicing!
Remember that when we sleep, we give our body the chance to reset and heal, so you can understand why it is SO important to get a good night sleep.
Here are a few nighttime ideas…
· EVENING STRETCH… I made this a habit for myself every night. I get into bed, breathe, stretch, and smile, which allows my mind to settle, and let go of the days’ stresses. Notice what a little stretching can do for your body and mind before bed.
· BATH / SHOWER… It’s always very relaxing to take a nice hot shower or warm bath before bed. It soothes the muscles, and releases tension.
· MASSAGE…A massage given by your partner or by using a handheld massager is another great way to loosen up some of the tense muscles. Concentrate on the neck and shoulders, since this is the area that we can hold a majority of that tension, but it also very beneficial to massage the lower back, hands, feet and legs.
NOW EXTEND THIS TO TWICE A DAY… MORNING AND NIGHT
Once you start to understand how just 5 minutes a day can put you in a positive frame of mind, try applying this to both morning and night. You will notice, over time, that your body will start to crave this good feeling, and you will naturally start to increase the time.
NOW LET’S BE MINDFUL 3 TIMES A DAY!
During the day, we can get busy, but we are never too busy to add a few quick reminders for ourselves. Here are some great ideas to try, periodically during the day.
SMILE ...
This is easy, because it can be done ANYWHERE, and takes little effort! And I encourage you to smile AT people, since it will encourage the other person to smile back. Make those connections with people, since you never know, you may just make someone’s day! You can crack a smile in the car, to others at work, or to strangers at the grocery store…anywhere!
BREATHE...
This is another easy one to do since it can be done anywhere. Take a nice deep breath in…and SLOWLY exhale to a 6-7 count. As you exhale, feel the shoulders relax and drop down your back. Repeat anytime you need a reminder to release any extra tension you may have accumulated during the day.
Practice these simple tools enough where they can become a part of your daily routine. Find times of the day you can apply any of the above. (Example: Smile when you get to work. Then take 5 seconds to inhale in a nice deep breath and exhale it out slowly to put a good foot forward on the day. If the day starts to get stressful, remember the breath is there for you. Take the time to breathe and relax the body when you need to.) Find what works best for you, and notice what happens even after only a week! You may start to feel a bit better about yourself and life, by just taking a little bit of extra time for you.
Chapter Seven
Understanding How Food Can Help Manage Anxiety
“The way you think, the way you behave, the way you eat, can influence your life by 30-50 years.” -Deepak Chopra
There are many foods listed on the internet that have their merit for being good anxiety relievers. After doing my own research with my own anxiety, I have created a list that has worked the best for me. (and what’s best for me may not be best for you, so be sure to try do your own research!)
So, why are certain foods better for relieving anxiety than others?
1) Foods that release serotonin-
Some foods contain the building blocks of mood enhancing amino acids. When these cross the blood-brain barrier, neurotransmitters, like serotonin, are released into the body, resulting in a calmer you. Most serotonin is found in the digestive system to aide in digestion. The rest, however, is found in the neurons of the central nervous system, which allows the serotonin to help regulate mood, sleep, and appetite.
So what are these amino acids, and which foods contain them?
Tryptophan- Lets focus on the simplest amino acid to recognize, tryptophan. Most of us are aware of this amino acid since it is the one responsible for us getting tired after a Thanksgiving feast. Being an essential amino acid, means that our body can’t naturally produce it, so we need to find it in our food.
So, we can just create a list of those foods containing tryptophan, consume them, and we are good to go, right?
Not exactly. You see, even though tryptophan is an amino acid needed to support the release of serotonin, it does not work alone. In order for serotonin to be released in the brain, the tryptophan needs to cross the blood-brain barrier. Unfortunately, there is a vigorous competition on which amino acids will cross over, and tryptophan can fall to the wayside if there are higher levels of other amino acids in the blood. BUT, when you consume carbohydrates with tryptophan, insulin is released. Insulin draws amino acids into the cells, and away from the blood-brain barrier. This allows the tryptophan to gain momentum and results in lower competition at the blood-brain barrier, which may cause higher levels of serotonin to be released into your body. Foods containing tryptophan are: turkey, milk, eggs, cheese, pineapples, asparagus, salmon, and nuts / seeds.
So, which carbs are the best to release insulin for tryptophan success?
Complex Carbohydrates- For better overall health, choosing the slower releasing carbs, complex carbohydrates, are the best way to go. Foods such as oats, brown rice, lentils, beans, and sweet potatoes allows for less of a sugar spike, which should result in a longer lasting effect of the serotonin, once released in the body.
2) Understanding Cortisol-
There are foods that can help combat high levels of cortisol, which can be elevated when stress and anxiety build up in the body. Prolonged increase of cortisol levels can result in not only anxiety, but adrenal fatigue as well.
What is cortisol?
Cortisol is a steroid hormone called a glucocorticoid, which is produced in the adrenal glands, found on top of each kidney. Cortisol is released during times such as stress, exercise, and when there is a “danger” afoot. When there are high levels of cortisol in the body, and the brain thinks there is a “danger”, it can link up with epinephrine to release the “fight or flight” mechanism. This allows for a sudden burst of energy, or “panic mode” to help a person if they needed to run away faster, or to provide an increase of strength. With those who suffer anxiety and panic attacks, the brain can be fooled to think there is a “danger”, based on a fear, and the body kicks in this burst of energy. The brain thinks it is helping the body, but, for those of us who have experienced this, it is far from a good feeling.
Foods that are high in vitamin C, omega-3’s, and zinc, can help lower cortisol levels. Foods high in vitamin C are: citrus fruits, kale, and spinach. Those high in omega-3’s are salmon, avocados and walnuts. Other cortisol fighters are: oysters, beans, and basil.
3) Nutrients you may be deficient in-
Let’s face it. Stress can deplete your body of important nutrients, and we can end up becoming deficient in some, therefore, enhancing anxiety. Here are some of the key nutrients we should try to keep in our daily diet to avoid worsening anxiety.
· B-vitamins (green leafy vegetables)
· Calcium (dairy, kale)
· Vitamin C (citrus fruits, kale, broccoli)
· Magnesium (dark leafy greens, nuts, fish, beans)
· Tryptophan (turkey, milk, asparagus)
· Vitamin D (dairy, sun exposure)
· Folic Acid (wheat germ, lentils, dark green vegetables, citrus fruits)
· Water
If you notice with the above list, increasing the amount of green leafy vegetables, like spinach and kale, citrus fruits and dairy should help increase the nutrients you may be lacking. Help replenish your body with healthy whole foods, and try to stay away from processed foods, since the additives and preservatives can further keep the body down.
Stay healthy and get healthier from the inside out.
Chapter Eight
Foods for Anxiety
“What we achieve inwardly, will change our outer reality.” -Plutarc
So, let’s discuss more specifically which foods can help and why. Using my own research, I have kept certain foods in my daily diet to help keep anxiety at bay. Here are my picks for best anxiety relieving foods, followed up with some healthy meal ideas!
- TRYTOPHAN- (Turkey)
- FOLIC ACID- (Wheat Germ)
- VITAMIN C- (Broccoli)
Healthy meal ideas:
Breakfast:
- Plain Oatmeal with Bananas
-Bananas contain tryptophan. When ingested, and tryptophan is mixed with a carb, like plain oatmeal, it allows the tryptophan to be carried through the brain to activate into 5-HTP, which then converts to serotonin, which is the neurotransmitter that relaxes the body.
This is a great breakfast to have if you have an upcoming stressful day ahead. Add in some orange juice to get in the vitamin C to help decrease additional cortisol.
- Scrambled Eggs and Kale (or Broccoli, or Spinach)
-Greens are filled with B-vitamins and, especially for Kale, chocked filled with Vitamin C which can help reduce cortisol levels. Eggs also contain tryptophan, so by adding a side of homemade granola you can bring on the serotonin. This breakfast can help keep you and your belly calm at the start of your day.
Lunch:
1) Salmon with spinach. Salmon contains a good amount of omega-3’s. The spinach is chock full of B vitamins, and it is soothing to the belly.
2) Spinach salad with hard-boiled egg. Eggs also contain tryptophan, so adding a portion of beans, (carb), may help increase serotonin release.
Dinner:
1) Turkey with sweet potatoes. Sweet potatoes are a good carb to provide additional serotonin release. If you add asparagus to the meal, which provides a good amount of folic acid, it can have an additional soothing effect.
2) Lettuce wraps. You can fill your lettuce with chicken, turkey, or even your favorite beans. Add a portion of brown rice and seasonings, or a dab of your favorite dressing. You can add broccoli or spinach to provide additional Vitamin-B. Sprinkle with wheat germ for added folic acid bonus.
Always remember when starting changes in your diet, you also need to be aware of what you need to stay away from. Remember that any stimulants can only add to your anxiety. Staying away from anything with caffeine is the best place to start. (ie. coffee, chocolate, energy drinks).
Ingesting too much sugar can also influence your anxiety, so try to keep the amount in check as well. Read the labels on everything you buy and stay clear from items that contain High Fructose Corn Syrup. HFCS is a chemically processed sugar that can raise sugar levels within the body. Companies that produce this product seem to change its name frequently in order to fool consumers, so staying tuned with everything you consume.
Stay away from processed foods as much as you can and eat more whole foods. This is a great way to stay on top of what enters your body. Cooking your own meals, instead of consuming processed meals, or restaurant meals are sometimes difficult to do, due to time constraints, but is ultimately the best way to go for your overall health. Try to set aside more time to cook meals, or select a day of cooking for the week, or freeze what you can.
Remember that it takes a conscious effort on your part, to be successful. Be conscious of what foods you are consuming. If you eat a good portion of broccoli, but then follow it up with a bag of chips or cookies, you are defeating the purpose. But diet changes are difficult, so remember to be patient with yourself. It is also important to remain positive and not get frustrated or down on yourself when challenges occur, because they will. And it is OK. Use these foods as building blocks, or steppingstones, instead of a reason for defeat.
Remember when you are actively thinking about your anxiety, you are giving anxiety more fuel. Keep focused and busy to keep your mind off the negative thoughts that can trigger anxiety. Going for walks, and finding a craft, are great examples of ways to keep yourself busy. When you start to understand that anxiety does not have any fuel when you are focused and busy, you realize things that focusing on anxiety really is not that important, and the natural changes will begin.
Introduce healthy habits into your life. Eating properly, taking time for yourself, staying active, exercising, smiling, and learning how to enjoy life are great tools for managing anxiety.
For more nutritional information and ways that foods can help improve relaxation and digestion, see the Nutritional Health section of the app!
Chapter Nine
Herbal Teas
“If you are cold, it will warm you; if you are too heated, it will cool you; if you are depressed, it will cheer you, if you are excited, it will calm you.” -William Ewart Gladstone
The great thing about herbal teas, is that they do not contain caffeine, and for those suffering from anxiety, they are a great alternative to coffee, if looking for a warm drink. For thousands of years, herbs have been widely used to help relieve symptoms of many different ailments. After doing much research about this, I started trying different herbs to help alleviate my own anxiety, as I figured, nothing can go wrong with a plant. But, unfortunately, after trying quite a few remedies, I had noticed something. They can have side effects.
So, just as your favorite medicine may carry a list of side effects, herbs may have them as well. Since I have developed a sensitive digestive system over the years, I have become quite hesitant with herbs. But I have found three specific herbs, for tea, that have helped me calm some anxiety symptoms, and not carry side effects for me. They are:
1. CHAMOMILE TEA –
Chamomile Tea holds a strong number one spot for me, since it contains a relaxant that soothes and calms the body. It has proven to not only calm the nerves but can calm the lining of the stomach as well. (This is especially helpful for those with “belly anxiety”, as I had.) I love to periodically have a nice cup of tea a couple of hours before bed to relax.
(Precaution: if you take blood thinners, please speak to your doctor before consuming this tea, since it can thin the blood if you consume too much. Side effects may be nausea and vomiting, but only with high concentrations. Chamomile tea is also a diuretic, so you may find your way to the bathroom more frequently overnight. When I drink this tea, I will be sure to consume it at least a couple hours before bed, to avoid having to get up later.)
2. PEPPERMINT TEA-
Peppermint tea is a staple in my house. It is soothing to the belly, especially after a large meal. It can help aide in digestion, reduce belly aches, and is supportive for irritable bowel sufferers. For me, my anxiety sometimes would start in my belly. Therefore, relaxing the belly has helped keep the more severe anxiety at bay, and a happy belly is a happy body.
(Precaution: for those with acid reflux, this tea may relax the valve by the stomach which may increase acid reflux. It may also interact with some medications, so it is advised to check with your doctor first before using this tea, especially if you are pregnant.)
3. GINGER TEA-
Another of my favorite teas is ginger tea. It is a great anti-inflammatory and aide for tummy issues. It has a true “spice” taste and is responsible for easing motion sickness. It also is helpful in improving digestion. I have found this excellent in helping relax my belly, but we are all different, so be careful.
(Precaution: the only side effects seen with ginger tea are mild. Some people have reported heartburn, others diarrhea and stomach discomfort. If you have stomach ailments, it may just be a good idea to only steep for a short period of time when you first try, then slowly let it steep longer, if you have no issues with it.)
Please note that with these choices in teas, I only ingest the teas with a single ingredient. I have personally found a side effect or two with the multi-ingredient teas. Mixing the herbs together may be helpful, but it can also be confusing if you react to something, and you cannot be sure which ingredient was responsible. Ergo, finding an ingredient that helps you best, may be the easiest way to go. Also, multi-ingredient teas may sneak in an alternate ingredient that may contain caffeine, so be sure to check the label. Therefore, I have always stuck to buying only one ingredient Organic Chamomile tea, Organic Ginger, and Organic Peppermint Tea. This has worked very well for me, and depending on my need for the day, I will choose which tea appropriately. If I am having more belly issues, I choose the Peppermint or Ginger, and if I am looking for more overall calm, I choose the Chamomile.
Other teas to consider:
Now just because I have sensitivities to other teas, does not mean you will. Remember that we are all different! So, here are a couple of other teas you may want to consider.
- ROOIBOS TEA (for insomnia, reducing anxiety, indigestion aide)
This is another great tea to try for yourself. For me, since I have a sensitive belly, this tea was not great for me, but I understand that it can help with insomnia, as it has a sedative effect. The problem is that it also may cause stomach upset, and for that alone, I don’t use it. It has been known to help reduce anxiety, promote sleep, and aide with indigestion. (Of course, I can get any and all effects with my two favorites, with no worry.) This herbal tea also has a history of helping with headaches, insomnia, and hypertension.
Rooibos is typically found in combination teas. (More than one ingredient.) Just please talk to your doctor before consuming this tea, especially if you have any liver or kidney issues, since it has been linked to liver and kidney toxicity. It also can show estrogen like activity. Those undergoing cancer treatments or have a hormone related cancer, like breast cancer, need to speak to their doctor before consuming, as it can also interact with certain medications.
-PASSIONFLOWER TEA (for anxiety, insomnia)
Due to its ability to help reduce anxiety symptoms and insomnia, it remains on the list of teas to try. Side effects that have been seen are: dizziness, nausea and involuntary muscle contractions. Please speak to your doctor before consuming this tea if you are taking blood thinners, drink alcohol, or are on blood pressure medication as it can interact. Due to the possible muscle contracting affect, it is also advised that pregnant women should stay clear, even if you are breastfeeding.
-LEMON BALM TEA (anxiety, insomnia, indigestion)
As with the above, Lemon Balm can have a sedative effect to help calm the body. The side effects of Lemon Balm may be: nausea, vomiting, abdominal pain, and dizziness. The good news about Lemon Balm is that it does not seem to interact with medications as Passionflower and Rooibos may. It also can be found as a “one ingredient tea”. So, if you find this herb agrees with you, it can be another good choice. Just note that it is always a good idea to check with your doctor to be sure, especially if you are pregnant.
Chapter 10
Sniffing Saffron for Hormonal Anxiety and PMS…
Most women have had some sort of Premenstrual Syndrome symptoms, (PMS), at some point in their life. PMS can consist of cramping, mood swings, fatigue, gastrointestinal issues, along with other symptoms like acne, insomnia, water retention, and of course, anxiety. When our hormones are out of balance, the variation of hormones can cause responses such as anxiety, as the body adjusts. For those who seem to feel anxious around a certain time of the month, before a cycle, may have hormonal anxiety.
Hormonal anxiety is a bit more difficult to deal with since it is based on bodily functions rather than an emotional response. This basically means that it is more difficult to deal with, and harder to calm the body down with typical mindfulness methods and tools.
Enter the spice saffron. Saffron is a spice that is derived from the flower known as “saffron crocus”. It is the most expensive spice out there since it takes about 70,000 crocus flowers to produce just one pound of dried saffron. It may be expensive, but the good news is that you only would have to buy it once, since the only thing you do with it is sniff the contents!
A double-blind study out of Iran was once performed, testing the theory of saffron and PMS. The original study had the subjects ingest 30 mg/day of the saffron, and the results showed a significant decrease in symptoms between the patients who ingested the saffron from the ones who did not. It was later determined, by the same individuals, that sniffing saffron alone, can have the same results. Later, the study determined that the smell alone was enough to trigger a hormonal response, causing changes within the body. So, they extended this study to have the subjects sniff saffron for 20 minutes.
Apparently, by sniffing saffron, it can help balance out hormone levels, and by doing so, can decrease anxiety symptoms.
I gave this a try about a year ago, and for me, who has suffered crazy anxiety two days, like clockwork, before my cycle every month, I had noticed a significant difference. Unlike the study, I would just take a few good sniffs out of the jar, so not the 20 minutes as recorded, yet still noticed my body start to calm after about 10 minutes or so. Is it the perfect remedy? Not really, since it seems that the relief is temporary. Maybe it would help me more, if I sat there with the bottle under my nose for 20 minutes for longer lasting effects. BUT, what I do recognize is that if I sniff the saffron for one months’ cycle, the next months’ symptoms aren’t as bad. And there have been months that I have gone without needing to sniff at all. Coincidence? Is it really the saffron, my body just being normal that month, or is it a psychosomatic response? Either way, it seems to work, it is much cheaper than other remedies, and carries no side effects. It is also a way of not putting harmful substances into the body. So, for me, when I am near my cycle, and start to feel a little tense and anxious, and my typical mindfulness techniques are not working as well as they should, I will assume it’s my hormones. I will sniff some saffron and keep it close by for a couple of days as symptoms arise. The beauty is that the saffron sniffing can alleviate other PMS symptoms along with anxiety.
So, if you suffer from hormonal anxiety, or anxiety related to PMS, saffron sniffing may be something to try. It seems to work for me, which is my reasoning for bringing this forth to you, but you be the judge. For the small amount of money, and the relief and/or piece of mind you can get, it is well worth the experiment!
One spice container of saffron costs between $12 and $18, but I have seen it online for around $9.00. Shop around but remember that you only must purchase this once!
Chapter Eleven
Me and My Thoughts
“Remember thoughts are only thoughts. You can choose to believe them or to not believe them. You can choose to change your perspective. You decide what you give power to. Choose thoughts that are helpful rather than harmful.” -Akiroq Brost
So, it has been said that our mind can create up to 60,000 thoughts in a day. It may be hard to believe, but thoughts come and go all day long. A lot of them just come and go since they are not important, but there are some that we pay more attention to. And it is these attention-grabbing thoughts that can create us joy...or even sadness. We choose which thoughts we are going to give attention to. Think about that for a moment. We CHOOSE the thoughts we are going to pay attention to.
To explain, let us say we are driving, and we see a boy cross the road. A thought may enter your mind about the way he is dressed, and think “that boy is dressed sloppy”, but you let it go and continue driving, because as quickly the thought came in, it was more important to focus on the song that just came on the radio. But the car behind you may look at the boy and say, “that boy is dressed sloppy”, followed by “why do kids dress so sloppy these days”, which can lead into “why does my nephew dress like that anyway”, which can lead into “why is he such a deadbeat, and why can’t he just smarten up”. This can lead into a domino effect of thoughts that can create us stress if we allow them to. I will say again IF WE ALLOW THEM TO. Two cars, same boy. One driver lets it go, while the other allows stress to build, because that person decided to give the thought attention. If you give a thought attention, the mind has been given permission to run with it.
Think about how many times one thought turned into stress for you. The answer may be “too many to count”. And that is NOT a bad answer, because we ALL do it! You are NOT alone. So, what can we do?
Well, just by knowing this, we can give ourselves additional power against our thoughts! Just KNOWING the fact thoughts can create more thoughts, allows us to be more conscious when we do our thinking. When we KNOW a certain thought or situation can cause us stress, we can put the brakes on right there and say to ourselves, “this can lead me into stress and anxiety, so I need to let this go!” Then purposely put a smile on your face and think of something funny someone said or put a positive thought in your mind. It is what I call a “positive thought bank”. A bunch of thoughts you can redirect to, as you need. So, if a negative thought starts to enter, you can switch gears to the positive thought, and boom. You can free yourself from the domino effect.
Now, this MAY take some time to get used to, especially, if a particular type of thought, or “trigger thought”, has a hold on you. Remember that you gave that thought importance, so the mind had permission to run with it. Remember that you are NOT your thoughts, and they do not define you. The only time a thought can define you is when you react to them.
I was very proud of my son the other day. We were watching “The Angry Birds Movie”, and there was a scene where Red Bird comes across a welcoming sign with an annoying looking bird on it. Red Bird stares at it for a while, then immediately gets angry and throws himself at the sign and rips it apart. In Red Birds mind, the sign was mocking him and laughing at him. The longer he looked at the sign, the more thoughts created anger inside him, which ultimately led to him ripping the sign apart. My son just looked at me, laughed and said, “All of that could have been avoided, if he just walked away”. Absolutely! If you attach yourself to a thought, in this case, a thought that said, “that sign is mocking you”, it can lead to more thoughts, which may not even be true, that can ultimately lead you into a reaction that you may regret.
Remember that thoughts are ok, unless they give you stress, and can push you towards a negative reaction. If you start to get worked up about a particular thought, it may be time to back off, and think “happy thoughts”, so to speak. The more you know yourself and how your own thought process works, the easier it may be to help you alleviate your own stress and anxiety…
Chapter Twelve
Laughter and Why It is So Important
“If you can’t make it better, you can always laugh at it.” Erma Bombeck
So, a couple of years ago, I came across a yoga class called “Laughter Yoga”. The name alone intrigued me, and I knew at some point, I had to check it out. My first thought was “what is THIS?” I mean, with all the different styles of yoga out there today, I have to say it had me curious, to say the least.
But like everything else, and for so many, it took me some time to get there. It was offered only once a month, so limited times were available. Of course, something would always come up restricting me from attending the class each month. So, at one point, I made it a priority. I put it on my calendar, told myself I would go, and made sure I would attend at all costs. And now, I’m reaping the benefits, and so relieved I got myself there.
It’s been noted that laughter is a great “cure” for many issues. Stress, for one, is one of the most prevalent issues damaging our bodies these days. Allowing oneself a good belly laugh increases endorphins, and helps aid in muscle relaxation. That is just a couple of the many great benefits laughing can create.
So how does it work? Well, when you get into a good belly laugh, a great amount of oxygen gets into the system, much like yogic breathing, that stimulates and awakens the heart, lungs and surrounding muscles. At first, the body gets stimulated, and raises heart rate and blood pressure, but then as endorphins are released, the body immediately comes back to rest, sending a great relaxed feeling running through your entire body.
For someone like me, with a history of anxiety, the idea of an “energetic” class made me a bit nervous. Certain styles of yogic breathing have been known to increase my anxiety. The kapalabhati breath, for example, is where you intentionally pulse the belly to get that inner fire erupted, increasing heart rate and blood pressure that many use to “get out” stress. (This particular breath, actually increased my anxiety.) But knowing that we “fake it till you make it” with the Laughter Yoga, sounded a bit like that idea, but the effects were definitely different. It doesn’t bring you up and keep you up OR bring on anxiety. You see, when in a laugh, the body is focused on the laugh and feeling good. Since the mind cannot do two things at once, you really can’t be anxious while you’re laughing. It’s been said that you can’t “get anxious” when concentrating on the breath either, like in kapalabhati, but those of us who have anxiety know that it can, and in fact, does happen. Laugher is natural, not forced, and even though we sort of “force” the laughter at first, the real laughter takes over and the natural effects of the body take over.
Another wonderful quality of the Laughter Yoga is, unlike traditional yoga where the focus is on the individual, you connect together with the people in the room. We laugh together working with each others’ energy, which is very soothing and safe. But the true gift, is the feeling that we are doing this all together. We are experiencing together, and we are safe together. So, there is no fear, there is only comfort. It was an overall feeling of community, love, and understanding of one another.
The best piece of this experience was what I learned about myself. There was a section of the practice where we were guided to drape our arms down towards the floor and cry it out. (Not real crying, just acting out the tears and movement.) We were instructed to then bring our arms up over our heads and turn those tears into laughter and laugh it out. What threw me was when we were down in the crying part, with arms draped, I felt comfy. This was my comfy spot, my go-to place, my place of solace. I also found it difficult to turn those “tears” into laughter as we raised our arms up. Hmmmmm… This was a HUGE eye opener for me, for it was at that moment I realized I used to enjoy my sorrow. When things go wrong, I would turn to the negative instead of the positive. Ergo, I need to laugh more, and I need to smile more. I need to take life a bit less serious. While in that downward crying section, I saw my kids. I saw my husband. I saw any friend I had in the past that I became friends with “because they made me laugh”. Wow. It was such an amazing “a-ha” moment, and a great lesson to learn. I needed to allow more laughter in my life. Just, in general, to be happier. Period. End of story.
When I left the class, I felt calm. I was relaxed, and I felt safe. I felt connected with the people I was in the room with, and the world felt a little smaller and a bit warmer to me. To top the night off, I had a great nights’ sleep.
Laughing is therapeutic, it is fun, and especially when we are stressed, it is necessary for overall well-being. It helps keep us positive and brings us the warm gushy feelings inside that we all deserve.
Here are a few of the benefits of laughing:
· Reduces stress, anxiety, and depression
· Improves interpersonal relationships and connects people
· Diffuses negative thoughts and feelings
· Increases oxygen to the brain
· Enhances weight reduction
· Reduces blood pressure and heart rate
· Promotes better sleep
· Releases endorphins
· Reduces pain and symptoms of chronic illness
· Improves digestion, and absorption of food
So grab your friends, grab your family and get giggling!
Becoming a Laughter Yoga Leader has allowed me to incorporate a lot of these methodologies into my yoga classes. For reducing anxiety, make a list of what makes you laugh. This can be a favorite show or movie, a friend, or friends you can call or hang out with, or a recording of a favorite comedian you enjoy, etc. When any of these are not available, remember that you can just fake a laugh. It sounds ridiculous, but the benefits outweigh doing nothing. To learn more, find a Laughter Yoga class in your area. The point is to create situations in your life that will allow you to let loose and laugh on a daily basis. A daily dose of laughter can reduce stress, anxiety and depression. Your brain simply cannot be depressed or anxious when you are laughing, and over time, you can see results in yourself. As you start to feel tension, breathe, relax your body, and smile. This alone may help you. Allow yourself to feel the positive effects of a smile. Then let that smile turn into laughter…
Chapter Thirteen
The Smiling Experiment
“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness” -William Arthur Ward
In the previous section, I discussed how my first Laughter Yoga experience taught me a great lesson I needed to learn about myself. The exercise that enhanced my awareness, was draping our arms down towards the ground as we basically cried it out. This was to eventually have us lift our arms up over our heads to let out laughter. The problem was, I felt so comfortable down in that crying out place, I did not WANT to bring my arms up over my head to laugh. I wanted to stay down there and continue to pretend to cry. It felt comfy, and it was actually work for me to lift my arms up.
This exercise taught me how comfortable I was in that place. This was a place of sadness, self-pity, and regret. It seemed that I enjoyed being in a place that kept me sad, because it was what I knew. It is like my body was protecting itself, keeping it miserable, since it did not know or really understand the other side.
I understand that I may have created this “habit” of misery within myself at some point in my life. Somewhere down the line, I must have kicked in the self-pity and sadness about my life and stuck with it. The feeling was so strong that even though I thought I was happy, deep inside, I really was not.
Since, you cannot change what you do not know about yourself, it was upon this moment of realization, I decided I wanted to make myself a better person. I decided that I did not WANT to be comfortable in misery. I REALLY wanted to be happy. So, if I want to be happier, how do I make this change? What could I do to help make myself feel warm and fuzzy inside?
For me, I continued taking the Laughter Yoga classes. Through these classes, I developed a clearer understanding about myself and what made me happy. And basically, I learned that it all comes from ME. (Something that we hear about a lot, but it really sunk in here.) All my reactions, my thoughts, my actions, and the way my life is being led, all comes from me. What else did I learn from Laughter Yoga? I learned that even when we fake a smile and laugh, we can release endorphins into the body. I also know from teaching mindfulness, that when we allow negative thoughts into our mind, we can end up down a rabbit hole of negativity.
So, after a while of going back and forth with this, it was then, I decided to do this little experiment on myself…
I knew that whatever I did, I wanted to take it slow, since anytime you change something too fast, it would never stick. So, I decided to start off easy, with just daily smiles. I knew from the class that just a smile can allow for positive changes inside the body. So, I made it a point to smile, or rather, fake a smile, five times a day. Since it did not matter where I did this, but I also wanted to be sure I was going to be consistent, so I chose to smile at a memorable place.
I chose every stoplight while I was driving. I figure, I was in the car every day anyway, so it would make sense that this was a good place to start, so why not? So, every time I stopped at a stoplight, I would crack a smile and hold it until the light changed. It felt funny and weird at first, but I knew it had to be beneficial in some way, so I continued on.
I am not exactly sure how long the process took, but it seemed to gradually have a real positive effect on me. Not only did it become easier and easier to find that smile at each stoplight, it stopped being so “weird” and started to feel more natural.
After I started feeling comfortable with this, I decided to branch out and test this on the public, so I started at the grocery store. I made it a point to start smiling at people as they walked by. An interesting phenomenon occurred. People smiled back! Imaging that! By smiling at others, it seemed to develop an instant connection between me and the person in front of me, even when I did not know them. And let me tell you, it felt pretty good inside. REALLY good inside! There were moments it seemed that my smile actually made someone’s day. This is when the experiment took off!
I then branched off the experiment to a larger level, where at every public place I would go to, I would just have a smile on my face, just to notice what would happen. Sure enough, without saying a word, people seemed to just be drawn to me to say “hello”, or “good morning”.
It may sound crazy, but during the time of this experiment, my feeling of other people had become more and more positive. I always felt that people were judgmental and never want to be bothered, but this changed that for me.
So, what is so wonderful about all this, is that I do not even have to force a smile anymore. My body just naturally does it. I laugh to myself when my husband walks by me only and will ask me what I am smiling about. I will be in the grocery store, and people will say “hello” to me, probably because I have a welcoming smile on my face. It seems when you really open yourself up to others, they WILL respond. I do not have to force a smile on my face anymore, because its already there. And at stoplights, my body just naturally smiles now.
I feel happier since I have done this, and it’s amazing the connections with others I have developed. I feel more outgoing and self-confident inside. I even see people a little differently now, and I like what I see in others. (Mostly..LOL) My students and friends are more open, and I have much more patience and tolerance with even the difficult people in my life. Placing the emphasis on the positive instead of the negative, has eliminated a lot of the negativity from my own life. I am much happier and look forward to helping others find their own inner happiness and use these tools in my classes.
So, give it a try. Give yourself a month or so of forcing a smile various times during the day and notice. Notice how the feeling of just turning up the muscles on the sides of your mouth can change you. It can bring on new forms of gratitude and love of self. It can bring on a sense of community with others, which makes us feel a part of something bigger, instead of feeling so alone.
Go out and smile and enjoy your beautiful day!!
Prologue:
Thank you for taking the time to read this book to understand anxiety a little more.
If you are looking for additional support, click on the links below for more information on each!
Thank you for taking the time to read this book to understand anxiety a little more.
If you are looking for additional support, click on the links below for more information on each!
For those who continue to suffer with stress and anxiety, anxiety help is here for you!
Knowledge is power when it comes to anxiety, so let me help you figure it all out!
Contact me at [email protected], if you have any questions!
Knowledge is power when it comes to anxiety, so let me help you figure it all out!
Contact me at [email protected], if you have any questions!